Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She...

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 7 317

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Same thing different taste

Knockout

By hwat? - 09/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 4 678

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 518

You deserved it 32 049

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 891

You deserved it 4 921

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 85 064

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 718

You deserved it 8 514

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 006

You deserved it 11 614

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 873

You deserved it 11 077

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 22 407

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 5 230

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 9 March 2015 13:46

Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.

Mightyrif 23

Monday 9 March 2015 13:49

Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!

Comments

wobbly1 16

Monday 9 March 2015 14:01

If she's not impressed with the package, lmpress her with what you can do with it.

MehNameIsJuan 15

Monday 9 March 2015 19:57

your profile pic tho xD

sunnyskys 25

Monday 9 March 2015 14:02

bro be carful you may be going home commando

lazyninja334 15

Monday 9 March 2015 14:05

heyyy at least she liked them OP

LizetteBerenice 22

Monday 9 March 2015 14:07

Girls and fashion, eh?

ckerane 16

Monday 9 March 2015 14:07

she clearly isn't ready for sex then

iAlissa 34

Monday 9 March 2015 16:55

I can be ready for sexual activities and not sit and gape at a dick. Guys have dicks. Big whoop haha

venomousflower 24

Monday 9 March 2015 14:13

At least she was impressed

hailzz_96 18

Monday 9 March 2015 14:18

Why was there a rooster in your boxers

dutchy86 20

Monday 9 March 2015 14:27

underwear-fetish?

cari_cat 19

Monday 9 March 2015 14:32

You must literally be a fancy pants.

FMLusername969 21

Monday 9 March 2015 14:32

She may have just been really nervous and was rambling a bit.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Animals Cats Boredom Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Social Media Jealousy

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Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 845

You deserved it 635

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 319

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 25 633

You deserved it 4 600

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I agree, your life sucks 12 871

You deserved it 1 063

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I agree, your life sucks 51 271

You deserved it 7 203

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I agree, your life sucks 34 815

You deserved it 3 900

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 293

You deserved it 9 611

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 143

Same thing different taste

Knockout

Chemistry

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