Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
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Top comments
1dvs_bstd 41
Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.
Mightyrif 23
Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!
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Comments (85)
lazyslumber 18
There is not much to be impressed by a ****'s look, it's performance should be impressive.
EbyKat 16
I have never met an impressive penis. Much like being a good person actions speak louder than words... Or in this case, looks. Penises look weird. Hell, genitals look weird. It's why foreplay releases chemicals that reduce the disgust response in the brain.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Did she say she was unimpressed with the dick? Girls with tact don't comment on it the first few times. Well, I wouldn't. Genitals are weird looking things.
sohigh10 34
Well to be fair, underwear can be exciting
Scheffy213 17
Why does your boxers have patterns
rocker_chick23 27
Because some men like to wear boxers with patterns on them. A lot of Hanes boxer briefs have patterns on them
vikky538 29
well you have impressed her in one way or other...
iLike2Teabag 27
Blue and black, but the girl saw it as white and gold apparently.
RandomGirlHere 14
Well, boxers are more attractive than cocks. Ones all pretty and soft and the other is skin with balls which balls look like wrinkled old men
badgercheese94 16
#40, must be the men you're with because in my experience.., mmmmm dayum!
Goblin182 27
Two words. Whitie tighties. Nothing impressive or distractive there.
SoullessSolace 12
To her, the pattern was probably the only new thing to see. We're all pretty similar, when it comes right down to it. Just remember that her going even that far has nothing to do with your wang OR your boxers. Hell, it may have even been a delaying tactic due to her own nervousness.