Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She...

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 7 317

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Knockout

By hwat? - 09/05/2022 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when she revealed her underwear: boxer shorts. She said she wears them because they’re the only underwear that doesn’t ride up her ass crack. Completely killed the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 4 678

By illequipt - 16/03/2009 03:20 - Canada

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my cock over my jeans and said, "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204 518

You deserved it 32 049

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 891

You deserved it 4 921

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 643

You deserved it 85 064

Chemistry

By Anonymous - 21/01/2023 10:00

Today, I got my boyfriend's pants down for the first time and turns out my thumb is bigger than his erect penis. I already know he has weak tongue technique, but this is an extra slap in the face I do not need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 351

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 718

You deserved it 8 514

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 006

You deserved it 11 614

By notsohappy - 18/02/2009 21:14 - United States

Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 118 873

You deserved it 11 077

By Joe - 08/07/2011 18:48 - United States

Today, I realized that I look sexier in my fiancée's panties than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 709

You deserved it 22 407

By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 392

You deserved it 5 230

1dvs_bstd 41

Monday 9 March 2015 13:46

Was it shiny? Girls, like fish are attracted to shiny things. -Barney Stinson.

Mightyrif 23

Monday 9 March 2015 13:49

Paint your **** with the same pattern. Bet that'll impress her!

Comments

lazyslumber 18

Monday 9 March 2015 14:40

There is not much to be impressed by a ****'s look, it's performance should be impressive.

EbyKat 16

Monday 9 March 2015 14:44

I have never met an impressive penis. Much like being a good person actions speak louder than words... Or in this case, looks. Penises look weird. Hell, genitals look weird. It's why foreplay releases chemicals that reduce the disgust response in the brain.

siggy_mcsigx 22

Monday 9 March 2015 14:50

Did she say she was unimpressed with the dick? Girls with tact don't comment on it the first few times. Well, I wouldn't. Genitals are weird looking things.

sohigh10 34

Monday 9 March 2015 14:56

Well to be fair, underwear can be exciting

Scheffy213 17

Monday 9 March 2015 14:58

Why does your boxers have patterns

rocker_chick23 27

Monday 9 March 2015 17:06

Because some men like to wear boxers with patterns on them. A lot of Hanes boxer briefs have patterns on them

vikky538 28

Monday 9 March 2015 15:39

well you have impressed her in one way or other...

iLike2Teabag 27

Monday 9 March 2015 15:40

Blue and black, but the girl saw it as white and gold apparently.

RandomGirlHere 14

Monday 9 March 2015 15:45

Well, boxers are more attractive than cocks. Ones all pretty and soft and the other is skin with balls which balls look like wrinkled old men

badgercheese94 16

Tuesday 10 March 2015 23:12

#40, must be the men you're with because in my experience.., mmmmm dayum!

Goblin182 26

Monday 9 March 2015 16:25

Two words. Whitie tighties. Nothing impressive or distractive there.

SoullessSolace 12

Monday 9 March 2015 17:40

To her, the pattern was probably the only new thing to see. We're all pretty similar, when it comes right down to it. Just remember that her going even that far has nothing to do with your wang OR your boxers. Hell, it may have even been a delaying tactic due to her own nervousness.