Technique

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How? He invited my mother to his house for coffee with his parents, and told her. She then had to come home and tell me I’d been dumped. FML

Breaking news

Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. I tried to hide my sadness from my mom. She still noticed, and tried to cheer me up. She took me to a funeral. FML

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML

Thanks, Dad

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her mom who had passed away years ago told her that I was cheating on her, telepathically. FML

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I loved her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

Awks

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML