Sex, NSFW and Love: Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to...

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 978

You deserved it 7 040

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 036

You deserved it 8 465

High hopes

By mywillyisdisappointed - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out with a girl I've been dating. I dropped her off and she finally asked me if I wanted to come in. When I did, she asked me to change a light bulb in her kitchen, and then promptly sent me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 164

You deserved it 3 536

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 068

You deserved it 10 278

Classic

By Singleagain - 10/01/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, when I came home, my girlfriend was in sexy lingerie, and said it was a surprise for me. Sounds awesome, right? Too bad she was drenched in sweat and the room smelled like sex. I looked in the closet, only to get punched in the face by a naked guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 142

Confusing

By so confused - 09/12/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 248

Uninvited

By Boner Jim - 24/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 139

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 143

You deserved it 385

By bad boyfriend - 26/03/2010 01:50 - Canada

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 25 340

By crazy_mom - 01/11/2010 15:10 - United States

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 688

You deserved it 4 357

Let's get it on

By Frank - 17/08/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 136

You deserved it 6 491

AH1Zviper 15

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:45

That was pretty shelfish in my opinion.

eaglerob 20

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:44

That's your future wife right there; embrace the chaos

Comments

fatalfacefart 4

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:54

At first I thought you said "watch her hang her self"

nataliewby 25

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:56

Seems like she's only thinking about hershelf.

alex_622 22

Sunday 24 August 2014 16:56

She should've at least given you a little something. Now you have to take care of yourself

schwaka 17

Monday 25 August 2014 2:09

Maybe he never comes around unless he thinks he's getting some, who knows lol. Most guys are used to taking care of things themselves so it's just a disappointment. xD

metalman746 5

Sunday 24 August 2014 17:08

Thats just wrong on so many levels. Maybe you should send her a pic of the sex and the city movie to get her to come over then instead have her make you a sandwich or do your laundry. That'll show her...

alex_622 22

Sunday 24 August 2014 17:11

Yes, because all girls love Sex and the City....

njgohard 16

Sunday 24 August 2014 17:13

Well played, ma'am, well played indeed.

julianbozikovic 20

Sunday 24 August 2014 17:13

Make a move, man! You don't know until you try!

laden_swallow09 34

Sunday 24 August 2014 21:44

Don't know what? It says she – his girlfriend, meaning they're already in a relationship together – sent him home, which makes me think that she unceremoniously dismissed him without any kind of hint of sexytime, either soon after or later. Even if she were open to the idea, it's too late for that kind of advice now, innit?