Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 948

You deserved it 10 735

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Same thing different taste

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 310

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 5 973

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 310

You deserved it 7 771

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 493

You deserved it 10 320

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 851

You deserved it 6 113

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 830

You deserved it 622

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 634

You deserved it 6 234

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 706

You deserved it 7 410

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 342

You deserved it 6 472

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

catamc 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:00

you sure she wasn't a racist? lol

tamt2 4

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:05

i totally agree...that's so not why! lolz!

sko12342 3

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:06

Or maybe!!! It´s because you´re ugly.. Hehe just kidding... Or am I?

MacyPompeo1 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:06

maybe she liked the song I just had sex by the lonely islands they say she put a bag on my head but guess what dude? it still counts you had sex!!!

XxThrasherxX 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:52

She wanted to kill you

TheNewGuy03 28

Saturday 23 July 2011 10:37

hehe, maybe. that's a really ******-up way to totally murder your significant other. >

sandmancometh 3

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:58

the only time you last three minutes and she has to bag your face hahahahahahHaa

small_bar_101 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 8:59

'she put a bag on my head' still counts! haha:)

foxyrambo 3

Saturday 23 July 2011 9:31

this reminds me of "I just had sex" by lonely island and akon. anyone who gets the reference is awesome.

AnimosityForAll 7

Saturday 23 July 2011 9:33

Sounds like someone who is way too into her self. Put a bag on her head next time... Just for the hell of it :)

Justincolon22 15

Saturday 23 July 2011 9:33

tip? well heres one ********** ha

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