Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had...

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

agreeclassic 42 949

vote type 1 10 735

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Nice way to go, really

By motorboatofdoom - 30/03/2020 05:00

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML

agreeclassic 2 223

vote type 1 310

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

agreeclassic 55 954

vote type 1 5 974

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

agreeclassic 59 310

vote type 1 7 771

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

agreeclassic 51 138

vote type 1 3 960

So good it's bad

By kingpin7 - 30/03/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML

agreeclassic 44 500

vote type 1 10 320

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

agreeclassic 40 853

vote type 1 6 113

By AVeryConfusedGuy - 11/05/2017 22:00

Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML

agreeclassic 6 832

vote type 1 623

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

agreeclassic 31 636

vote type 1 6 235

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

agreeclassic 31 709

vote type 1 7 412

By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

agreeclassic 42 342

vote type 1 6 472

grapisy 8

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

Still counts.

FUUUandyourmom 16

Friday 22 July 2011 19:20

What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!

Comments

freeagent678 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 5:32

wow, she's an idiot.

joensabxy 1

Saturday 23 July 2011 5:45

haha

SOD_sonofdixie 5

Saturday 23 July 2011 5:55

at least she doesn't have to drug you now....

Sylverstone 2

Saturday 23 July 2011 6:20

Doesn't matter, had sex.

ptowngirl723 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 6:23

that's messed up

LolzFML25 4

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:06

"She put a bag on my head" "Still counts!" you just had sex, and it felt soo good (felt so good) :D

bingolittle 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:19

it sounds like you are an idiot.

shizzle156 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:20

maybe she just thinks your ugly...

JavIin 0

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:48

"She put a bag on my head" "Doesn't matter, had sex." Oh TheLonelyIsland.

Eggers 2

Saturday 23 July 2011 7:51

60- whoops, epic fail on my part. is it too late to say paper fetish?

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

agreeclassic 19 223

vote type 1 23 210

Today, I tried to get a picture of a cute cat while on my morning walk. The cat didn't run away scared, it was even as if he knew it was "strike a pose" time. Then, out of nowhere, a seagull swooped down and stole my breakfast bagel. FML

agreeclassic 302

vote type 1 251

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

agreeclassic 36 889

vote type 1 17 045

Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML

agreeclassic 7 883

vote type 1 1 134

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

agreeclassic 36 340

vote type 1 3 027

Today, my boss announced that instead of holiday bonuses being on the cards, the company is going under and we'll all be out of a job next year. FML

agreeclassic 29 699

vote type 1 2 274