Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is terrified of me seeing her sex faces, so she violently squished my face between her boobs during sex. I then had a severe asthma attack because I couldn't breathe properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I almost suffocated. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl and she passed out about a minute in. I panicked and thought she'd died so I tried to feel for a heartbeat. She woke up 45 seconds later and accused me of fondling her breasts while she was out. Apparently she has narcolepsy. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML
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Top comments
grapisy 8
Still counts.
FUUUandyourmom 16
What a wonderful girlfriend you've got there!
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Comments (400)
asianeggrole 0
a bag really?! your face must be pretty bad.
asianeggrole 0
a bag really?! bro your face must be bad.
jansdo 1
cuck in training
546edward 0
lol someone must be ulgy
sexxychickk 0
why didn't you take it off..? wow, you idiot. :)
AshorinaMoshe 10
Why would you still stay in bed with her if she put a paper bag on your head? lol that's so insulting
Stew1411 0
So...was it that good, though?
TheHexagon 0
lololol 73
naynay30 0
not too bright is she?? haha. but...you did go along with it!
number0 8
This guy had sex with Blake Lively! Anyways, OP, stop complaining. It's not like you had sex with a pile of manure.