Today, my girlfriend of over a year woke me up at 4:30 in the morning by sticking her hand down my pants. She immediately stopped when I was awake enough to reciprocate and said, "I couldn't sleep. I was bored. Talk to me." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me over late at night. I got excited, assuming she finally wanted sex. No, she just wanted me to make her mac and cheese and talk to her because she was ‘restless’. FML
Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML
Today, I recently started seeing a girl and I slept over at her house for the first time. Apparently, I still talk in my sleep. This morning she told me I whispered, "I love you so much." FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, after a long 16 hour shift, I was milliseconds from sleep when my girlfriend said she "wants to talk". I'm now writing this from the couch. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend revealed that last night she decided to 'test how asleep I was' by putting her finger up my nose as far as she could. Then in my mouth. Then in my ear. Then back in my mouth. I slept through the whole thing. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
pjsr 33
That type of stuff, for me, would be a dealbreaker. When someone uses sex to manipulate or yank your chain, that's just not right.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
If I had to guess, I'd say you guys talked about the subject of blue balls.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (26)
LyricaSilvan 30
That's some serious bullshit. Using that to wake you up, and then deciding she just wants to "talk," therefore leaving you horny and unable to do anything about it, just because she was "bored" is not okay. She could have just as easily poked you or shaken you awake. She didn't need to get you all worked up just to turn around and say she just wants to chat. I would have a very serious talk with her about how not okay that is. Not even kidding. She needs to realize that's unfair to you and that she needs to not do that shit.
whathepony 13
It's quite selfish tbh, it's not because she can't sleep that she has to keep you from sleeping too wtf .-.
sasquatchius 3
I hope you talked to her about how that was a nasty move on her part.
sasquatchius 3
I hope you talked to her about how that was a nasty move on her part.
maja00 5
I would kill her if she woke me up just because she couldn't sleep.
jcash52426 5
So wait until she is relaxed and start fingering her and right when she about to climax look at your phone and say your going out with the boy be back later.
thisisthestupid 18
Be intimated with her That will knock her out Tell once your hands there, there's no going back
Solano2580 24
I feel like i'm the only one who doesn't blame the girl. Perhaps this was the ONLY way to get OP to communicate with his girlfriend without trying to **** her.
rickAUS 22
Let's look at the situation, if the objective was to talk without the bf attempting to have sex then playing with his junk is the worst possible way to start. she had basically instigsted foreplay...
RedLust_fml 7
That is when you say "I know a way to make you sleep" and everybody wins
RedLust_fml 7
That is when you say "I know a way to make you sleep" and everybody wins