Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
x3jmac27 22
But you know popcorn is pretty good.
CharismaGeek 19
I'm sure the popcorn part wasn't a big deal, but in the middle of sex? That's a bit harsh.. Try doing something to cheer her up?
rachangie 19
To cheer her up? I feel as though she should be the one doing the cheering up. She got hers and then stopped before he could get any and then refused him popcorn. That's all a little harsh especially if OP was in the moment and caught off guard. I couldn't imagine doing any of this to a guy....that's just terrible.
GlasgowSneer 13
I don't think she deserved anything, personally.
itooamscrewed 10
She got hers? How do you know? Most women do not get off from sex, and a good percentage of men do not do oral sex or foreplay long enough to get the woman off. Which means if you're going longer than 20 minutes, we are sore and bored.
GentlemanBastard 15
#108, you sound so jaded. Statistics are nice and all, but if the dude really cares, he will try and get you off whatever way he can. And instead of being silent and just waiting, why not say something and resolve the issue?
okay33 12
What sort of popcorn?
trellz17 19
If it was caramel popcorn I can understand.
baseballbv 17
Cheese popcorn is irresistible. When you get that urge, you just need to satisfy it.
weveallbeenthere 30
it sounds like you may need better techniques to keep her interested. no popcorn for you!
weveallbeenthere 30
popcorn with honey mustard as a dip is awesome.
annarcheer 19
omg usually the girl wants u to take longer.
marcranger 29
Nah, I'd be in the market for a 30-second wonder as long as he could get me off first! (Waits for flood of offers from about 85% of male FMLers)
LisaDay 14
shes either bored (ste up your game OP!) or possibly sore from him taking too long. the motion of him thrusting into her will start to hurt after a short while if she cant stay lubricated. also, depending on the size of her ****** and the size of his penis, he may be hitting her cervix which will get sore if he is hitting it repeatedly.
brand125 17
66 - hahaha... um... no.
ColonelCusswords 24
better get better at sex, if she'll bail on you for popcorn she'll bail on you for anything
laden_swallow09 35
Or maybe she could just tell him how she wants it during the act instead of turning into Superbitch by getting up and leaving.
sorahearts_fml 10
No you're just triffling.