Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said, "I know." FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, my girlfriend bitched that we spend too much money on food, and needed to start cooking to save money. I got home from work and started dinner. Halfway through, my girlfriend sighed and said, "This is taking too long, I'll order pizza." FML
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear, "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said, "Here, you're repaid." FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
MissBehavin77 18
That's a new one. I didn't know there was such a thing as " taking too long" for a girl. I say you deserved the popcorn at least.
Adamfuzzyballs 7
i never take too long...
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Comments (79)
TechnoKitten 17
Not letting him have popcorn was like insult to injury. Sorry OP!
porekind 3
Well stop wearing out your hand then!
Chibi_Kitten 24
But you know what is definitely better than sex? Better than sex chocolate cake.
SystemofaBlink41 27
She wanted some of Orville's P instead of your D, OP.
KissMeSweet 1
Ouch! I wouldn't have done that to yuh.
thewife5 19
You should pay attention to her instead of just hump her.. Then age wouldn't be bored ;)
Just_A_Tree 20
Great thinking #73! You don't have to seduce chocolate cake!
shudson186 17
Exactly! It seduces you.
TMramrod 15
This is something I would say to my boyfriend lol
pptm 13
Lol