Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have...

By conductingfromthegrave - 01/07/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 392

You deserved it 4 560

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Lifeless

By Motionless - 26/05/2011 09:55 - United States

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 073

You deserved it 23 775

Time is money

By asdfasdf - 24/01/2009 15:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 180

You deserved it 5 958

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 10/10/2022 18:30 - Turkey

Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 481

By Username - 08/07/2011 06:12 - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 572

You deserved it 6 692

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 643

You deserved it 7 568

By pathetic - 20/08/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 29 875

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 162

You deserved it 8 656

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 095

You deserved it 7 018

Hang ups

By at least put on sexy underwear - 01/09/2023 20:00

Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 113

By Lovenem - 16/02/2011 17:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 339

You deserved it 7 107

somnula 9

Wednesday 1 July 2009 16:44

she probably just meant "last time" and said yesterday. nbd

irishdubr 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 17:00

U shoulda said "ok" and started jerkin off. Then ask her what SHE did yesterday.

Comments

GrapefruitZoe 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 20:53

Yeah, I didn't know what to make of it but I didn't think anything too worrisome.

ithedarkknight 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 21:30

hmm if i were you i would of had like the craziest sex ever turn her completly out drain her... at least then you got some... then i would raise hell out of nowhere like wtf you mean yesterday this the first time we had sex in 6 DAYS!!!!!!!!!! and start argueing and creating hell so at least when you break up...you at least got some??? that should hold you over for awhile?

dumass30 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 21:49

Ooooo cheater!

speak_a_da_truth 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:19

I made something for this web site. It's called a "Jump to conclusions mat!" It's a mat with different "conclusions" on it that you jump to. I jumped and landed on misspoken... damnit I was hoping for obvious cheater

nodbor 11

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:49

time flies when your ******* someone else

ithedarkknight 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 22:57

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is freakin gold bro pure gold someone need to make a shirt that says that id wear it!

XxXRawr 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 23:36

Omg Thats Fucken Funny xD But Srry For You xD I Hope You Broke Up With Her xD

blahdsflksfd 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 0:11

No sex before marriage.

aback 4

Thursday 2 July 2009 0:19

Good luck enforcing that, Sex Patrol. :D

BLNovelist 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 2:18

It's possible she's cheating, but it's also possible she just has her days screwed up. I've said something happened 'yesterday' that happened several days prior. :o And vice versa.