Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night with a numb arm. When I tried to reposition it, it flew crazily and slapped my girlfriend in the face. My girlfriend, who was in a string of abusive relationships, and has severe PTSD. FML
Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 38
Either you have a weak shoulder or her head is the size of a watermelon.
MsConfusedd 27
Be thankful she didn't elbow your dick
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Comments (67)
dontpanic_fml 32
I'm trying so hard to envision how a girl moving her head could incite screams of agony caused by a near shoulder dislocation and I just caaaaan't...perhaps you could keep it together a bit OP?
_VAL3NT1NA_ 6
Women right? Gosh
ChancellorJ 7
Sounds like you both overreacted.
JayFoShizzle 4
Do you even lift?
Xotoolyxo 16
Roll over and push her off the couch
SphinxJinx 0
Do you even know what having your arm dislocated feels like? Your body goes into shock so you wouldn't be screaming, you just wouldn't be able to move your arm and you may pass out from the shock. The pain comes in afterwards. Man up xD
emeraldmaz 9
Well, that's not necessarily true - people react to different pains and injuries in different ways Also, OP said 'practically,' just meaning that his shoulder/arm was jerked in a way that felt incredibly painful.
Rexaqu 17
Thats hillarious OP hahaha :)
Krimzon 5
You heartless bastard... >:(
Geary519 20
how could you do such a thing?