Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML
Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend, with whom I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlocked the door to see that the place was a mess. She'd thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was drinking too much and I had to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I'd pissed the bed. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
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Top comments
xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11
Hey at least you two made up!
Psych101 9
Better both of you than just her. How would you have felt then?
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Comments (129)
FarSide 23
I hope this is the worst FYL you ever experience.
thetguy 4
It's the thought that counts!
celine21_fml 0
Lol the thought of having sex?
thetguy 4
The thought of making up haha
SqueakyChipmunk 22
When you passed out, did you land between her legs? If so, it still kinda counts. At least, that's what I heard from the fat douche down the street.
MichellinMan 20
*wakes up, looks down* Bullseye!
jimshrimp 0
does this even qualify as an FML? this is just stupid.
MichellinMan 20
Or maybe just you passed out, and she had drunk sex with with your intoxicated body. But both of you probably just passed out.
zandalee 20
Check for snail trails...
missamazinggg 12
I have to ask, what is a snail trail?
MichellinMan 20
^ guess.
missamazinggg 12
A girl sliding across a surface? I can't think of a way to phrase it cleanly.
MichellinMan 20
^ ****.
night_saint 5
You spent the night with her though, right? If you made up, you'll probably get some next time.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You may have passed out, and actually had made up, but just don't remember it.
FirebirdF350 7
The fml says they reconciled, obviously he, at least, remembers
SquishFish 15
She may remember the drinking..... But she may not remember that you were going to have sex
sarah6786 14
Morning sex!
SarcasticUnicorn 9
I can't fully appreciate your comment because of your profile pic! It's like saying you are disgustingly excited about morning sex! :)
Shrike 24
Haha! Morning sex, with double hangovers? Uh, okay then...
sarah6786 14
59 - Excited about morning sex, disgusted by morning breath.
12GaugeTurtle 1
Hey, props for being able to remember all that while drunk.