Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
I can't imagine the look on his face.
deadhead419 15
What about standing in line to buy groceries puts you in the mood
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Comments (130)
hkay 11
This is why I don't have any friends! They are so nasty.
LithFlavored 10
Nothing like a nice grocery store to put you in the mood
SJParker 13
What he means is implying is that incest is common in the South and that the OP and their father are partaking in it.
Dusty_Busters 15
LOL that is awesome
lemon_phat 11
Since when is incest "common" in the south? Some stereotypes are ridiculous.
Ledoggie 7
I wonder how many milliseconds it took for him to take your phone away and ground you for a few years? :3
OnlyTheDarkest 17
I've lived in Texas my whole life, and for one, the stereotype says Alabama/Mississippi, not Texas, and for two, incest is nowhere near as common in the South as is believed.
CaiDog 20
111 113 Joke... it was a JOKE
AngelLovesDerby 10
Omg!! That would be horrible fu*kers!
Chris93Jones 20
that's why I keep some texts on each name