Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got a new smartphone and wanted to surprise my girlfriend with a naughty picture with it. A few minutes after sending it, I got a reply back from my girlfriend. And my best friend. And my sister. And everyone on my contacts list. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I texted my best friend that my girlfriend was annoying. Only, it turns out I sent it to our couples' group chat. Her mom replied, “At least he's honest.” Her dad left the group. My girlfriend changed her Netflix password. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
MrPortalFan 21
I can't imagine the look on his face.
deadhead419 15
What about standing in line to buy groceries puts you in the mood
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Comments (130)
AGB10 19
If I read this FML correct..you were sending your dad an erotic message and it went to your girlfriend instead?? (Given your post reads your gf's name was changed to your dads..)
AGB10 19
Thank you fml for fixing :) wonder why the negative votes :(
joawmeens 7
"Hey babe, who's your daddy?" "Your grandfather is, son..."
AGB10 19
OP: these melons remind me of you and makes me want to **** on them OPs Dad: you need to be spanked with the cucumbers..
kwyk 23
Some things are best unimagined..
sdroze1389 31
that went to a weird place not even suited for the acceptable branches of internet trolling
WCARlover 35
"Mmm baby this flour and these eggs are turning me on so much..don't even get me started on the milk, unf"
joawmeens 7
"With all these ingredients, we can make a cake. But I would rather practice making babies instead"
corporatescoundr 25
Unf?
desoura737 8
It could be worse because you can play it off to your dad as "bro talk." At least they didn't change your mom's number to your girlfriends name. That would just be awkward.
TheDrifter 24
Your friends are a little weird if erotic messages to each other are considered "bro talk". That's way outta bounds by the man code.
LissaMccracken 23
Just no.
desoura737 8
I'm just saying. It'd would been a lot more awkward if OP's parent wasn't the same sex.
FelicityWishes 32
What supermarket are you shopping at? ;)
Alihb 16
You sext whilst buying groceries?
longlivemetal911 15
Sexting hath no location restrictions!
Zaros_fml 24
Verily!
underthesea12 24
real smart letting your friends in your phonr
joawmeens 7
Real smart calling out someone's intelligence, when you can't spelr
livelobster123 14
Real smart and original comment, #109, when you don't have a creative bone in your bodr
RedFox29 10
What if your dad went along with it!?
Obey_StudBoii 23
Oh God -_-
Neesalun 20
I'm really curious to find out what your dad said or did?