By Ashley - 07/10/2013 06:11 - United States - Belmont

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 231
You deserved it 8 060

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Are you certain that wasn't a freudian slip?

I guess you're into that rough stuff huh?

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Are you certain that wasn't a freudian slip?

And here I thought a Freudian slip was when you said one thing but actually meant your mother....er, another! ;P Either way, if that was literally Op's reaction to getting a face plant, she could probably expect to end up doing the downward facing dog pose more often. :p

@ 1-no no I think that's what she really meant to say.

Should've ended the sentence like "I'm gonna f**k you up"

#44 - I can just imagine it as a TV show. Set on a rainy background, during sunset, city lights on in the background, OP says, "I'm gonna f*ck you.... (breathlessly).... up". Then OP's friend proceeds to smile, leans in slowly and kisses her. OP passionately kisses back, then suddenly draws herself away with a sharp breath, with a momentous pause. She then hesitantly smiles, grabs his hand and they run off into the twilight to get back to her apartment, in a moment of fiery passion.

@ 50 Really? I was imagining more of a SM moment here.... Considering this one obviously likes it rough ;).

hahahahahahahha freudian for real, denying your drives leads to pychosis, so go for it. Im gona go try face plant a friend, who knows - wish me luck

#50, Still a better story than twilight

#41... that's the joke....

why are we ducking bleeping ourselves

I guess you're into that rough stuff huh?

\ 28

OP should keep his word and fuck his friend. Hard. In the butt. No lube. Unexpectedly.

Though there are some guys out there named Ashley, I do believe OP is a woman. She could do it with a strap on though. Nothing scarier than a pissed of chick swinging around a 10 inch rubber dick. That's a nightmare situation, or for some, a dream come true haha.

or some fucked up hentai

Op shouls have quickly added 'up' to avoid being laughed at.

I am really bad at internet things. In the past 2 days I've googled "candy crush" and now "hentai." I don't know which is going to scar my brain more... I'm thinking candy crush.

You're 18 and you still think your birthday is New Year's Day? I'm fairly certain 12/31 is New Year's Eve.

\ 28

Hey #107, did you know you were born exactly one week after the day of Hitler's birthday, the day of the BP Oil Spill, and the Columbine High School massacre all together?

well did you?

This entire comments section is just upsetting.

i think ashley is a girls name -_-

ill fuck you so savage my dick will be casted.

Be ready for the Mods, isallwaysme.

Easy there satan

i have recently been commenting under the influence of not enough sleep. i should restrain myself in the mornings espically when i first wake up.

You're going with the old sleep deprivation excuse, eh? That won't work here, as the FML community has seen it too many times. Good luck!

argh i realized too late. Ill be the first to point out that im an idiot.

The sleep deprivation excuse only works, if you correct yourself before anyone does.

ur emotions came out :D !!

Home invader or butthole crusader?

At least you guys have something to laugh at later throughout the years

With your face down like that? :p

I am pretty sure they stood up and didn't just lay on their face.

#46 - sex can get kind of tricky with both partners standing up. :P