By xOdaatx - 26/09/2011 13:01 - Australia
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Euhm...single parents can be as good as two parents. My boyfriend's father has run away years ago (and changed his last name so his debts went to his wife) and my boyfriend, how difficult it sometimes might be to only have one parent, prefers living without him. I think that moving back together 'because of the child' is a very bad idea. You move together because you love the other person and want to share your life with him/her. How big is the chance that this will be a crappy relationship/will end in a divorce? Being raised by one parent isn't bad (although often financial and emotional difficult), being raised by two unhappy people is. I pity that child. And you, OP. You're better off without him, but your life must be devestated now.
Moving in or staying together just for the kid is a HORRIBLE idea. Then the kid gets to grow up watching his/her parents always fighting and hating each other. My step did tried to make it work with her ex forever despite his constant affairs just for their daughter but she finally said enough was enough and ended it. They're all a lot better off now.
I actually see what you guys are saying, but I still don't agree. I was raised by my mom only. And I can't say I wouldn't have loved to have had a father figure in my life, like normal kids. And if these two parents can stay together without fighting and raise their child properly, then they should by all means.
Have you ever tried living with someone you hate though? I had a roommate from hell. I would never live with someone I hate for any reason ever again, regardless of the kids. My parents split up when I was 7 and I lived with my dad and visited my mom every other weekend. That was bad enough when occasionally one would badmouth the other to me. I can't even imagine living with that every day. My dad was engaged to a crazy lady a few years later and I had to listen to her scream at him all night. That's not pleasant to grow up with. Kids should never see their parents fighting and that's pretty much inevitable when the parents hate each other and live under the same roof.
"And if these two parents can stay together without fighting and raise their child properly, then they should by all means." That's true. But - knowing that this couple split up, the man was engaged to another woman, who he cheated on with his first wife -, it doesn't sound like a decent and stable relationship to me. Ofcourse, I could always be wrong, there are enough dirty cheating scumbags who evolve to a great parent - but I'm just sceptical.
You can do better.
Did she come over and steal his sperm then artificially inseminate herself? That's the only logical explanation because there's no way that he would cheat on you.