Today, my father yelled at me for changing one of his two programmable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, #1 is for sober driving and #2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad, who only recently came back into my life, decided somewhere in his booze-damaged brain, that I still needed parenting like a teenager. He tried to take my car keys for staying out late, tried to ground me for drinking, and disapproves of me dating. I’m 27 and own my own home. FML
Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
A lot of people drive drunk because their judgement is ****** when they're drunk. Clearly your dad plans to do it, even beforehand - seems like he's quite a retard.
Boddmon 0
Everyone is different, I know a lot of people who claim that it's easier to drive when high because you can focus however it's just as easy to become focused on something else while you're driving. I could be "high as balls" too and then suddenly notice a very appealing billboard for Twinkies and begin thinking about them. "mmm Twinkies" *crashes car*
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Comments (109)
iamgoofymovie 0
man I think the dad is cool as **** n his kid should be chillen with him instea of wasting time on fml haha n all u other people talking about the drunk driving are over reacting haha
idkweird 0
Really? I had a friend's older brother get hit by a drunk driver. He was working on a Phd at the time. He will never be able to live on his own again. He had to relearn how to walk/talk/ride a bike. Also, I work in a hospital and have to see the effects of these "cool as ****" people who damage other people's lives. The drunk driver hardly ever gets hurt because they're so drunk that they move with the crash. The other people see the asshole coming and tense up. It's almost always the sober person that ends up dying because of morons like the OP's dad. It's kind of obvious by your typing, though, that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed.
tangerine_12 0
yeah try saying that this person is "cool as ****" for driving drunk to my mom and family and see what they say after my father was killed by a drunk driver. i don't think they'd like you very much, would they?
krez 20
If you can afford booze or drugs, you can afford a cab. Rule to live by people.
hedgehogs 0
WILD APPLAUSE!!!!
jif_fml 0
blah blah blah. the point here is that no matter what they're used for, if it's your dad's car you SHOULDN'T be changing the seat settings.
mshafty 0
Seriously! don't mess with your dad's car. It a golden rule. Also, Is your dad Hank Moody?
TranquilMarzipan 0
You ever notice how ALL of the really terrible ones are from Texas? .... way to rep the polis.
MrHighRo1995 0
Say my nigga im from texas dont be tlkin down on the greatest state
bwilliams18 0
I really don't understand how some people can be so stupid... and usually people from Texas are cowboys they think its fun to put other people in danger!
freakyfish07 0
Have you ever even met a cowboy in your life? Probably not. Most of them are not like that at all. People from all over do that kind of stuff not just in Texas and not just cowboys like you said. Don't judge if you don't know what you are talking about.
sparxva 12
If you know he's going to use the setting only when he's high/drunk, then have a little fun playing with his head. like push the seat all the way forward.
nolimits 0
He's lying - Position 2 is for jacking off!
Mikedb66 0
How 'bout this: a breathalyzer-type device. if it detects that the driver is drunk or stoned, a pneumatic piston drives a steel spike through their head. That's what they deserve, anyway.
geovanni 9
This man is RIGHT, right for AMERICA.
RuralNinja 0
I love everyone flipping out over the obviously joke comments. Don't feed the trolls people.
ronjonathon 0
z