Today, my father yelled at me for changing one of his two programmable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, #1 is for sober driving and #2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad took a call while driving. He always yells and curses at people who talk on their cell while driving. I asked him to get off the phone because it's dangerous, and told him he's being a hypocrite. He shook his head at me and continued talking. Seconds later, we got into an accident. FML
Today, I had to pick up my dad because he was too drunk to drive home. Drive his wheelchair home, that is. FML
Today, while on the road, my dad called twice before I pulled over and answered the phone. He first got mad at me for not answering, and then again later for "paying attention to my phone" while driving. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML
Today, I borrowed my dad's car to run a quick errand, which he never lets me do. I thought I’d got away with it until he got home and started yelling. I forgot, dad always reverses into driveways, while I prefer to drive straight in, and I'd parked his car facing the wrong way. FML
Today, my dad, who only recently came back into my life, decided somewhere in his booze-damaged brain, that I still needed parenting like a teenager. He tried to take my car keys for staying out late, tried to ground me for drinking, and disapproves of me dating. I’m 27 and own my own home. FML
Today, I have to make a decision. I either drive my dad around during the day so he can drink, or I let him drink and drive so I can focus on studying for my exams. FML
Today, a drunk driver totalled my new Audi. Who was the drunk driver? My dad. FML
Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML
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Top comments
null_fml 11
A lot of people drive drunk because their judgement is ****** when they're drunk. Clearly your dad plans to do it, even beforehand - seems like he's quite a retard.
Boddmon 0
Everyone is different, I know a lot of people who claim that it's easier to drive when high because you can focus however it's just as easy to become focused on something else while you're driving. I could be "high as balls" too and then suddenly notice a very appealing billboard for Twinkies and begin thinking about them. "mmm Twinkies" *crashes car*
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Comments (109)
CallMeHush 1
Your dad is a tool, get your own car.
violetmango 5
Your dad is a bad parent and an irresonsible fool. I pray to God he gets arrested for DUI.
crankyinthemorn 0
Lol :)
applecat 0
haha.old people gone wild
louie111887 0
while I don't agree with drunk driving. I drive high all the time and it's not bad. people that haven't smoked weed just think it's so bad. but yea I agree with ten. lighten up ppl.
idkweird 0
Actually, I have tried it, and i would never drive while high. There are definitely people who have built up tolerances, but it does slow people's reaction time down. Scientific studies have proven that. It also depends on the type of weed they're smoking. There are some that affect your body more than your mind, and there are others that affect your mind more than your body. Most kids are smoking whatever their dealer is selling at the time. People with medical marijuana, on the other hand, are more likely to know what they're smoking and how it will affect them. A little common sense talking here: why would there be so many campaigns about not driving while high if it weren't a problem? I know Ill get some conspiracy theorists on that question, but the truth is, stats have gone up on accidents related to the driver being high. I mean, those commercials are big in Cali, at least, because of medical marijuana being legal. They're trying to remind people that it can be just as dangerous as driving while drunk or on prescription pills. A lot of people treat weed like it is this miracle drug that only has great side effects. They tend to forget that it is still a drug that can impair.
Shady_R 0
Most drugs have the potential to affect your ability to drive safely, even aspirin. Its irresponsible to drive under the influence of a lot of things and I think that trying to justify your use of an illegal drug which has been shown to negatively affect your reaction time is pathetic.
MrHighRo1995 0
Nigga u gay, getting all detailed and shit
Erindub 0
Drinking and driving is TOTALLY inexcuseable! Your dad sucks for even admitting that to you in the first place. He makes it sound as if its alright to potentially kill some innocent victim.
ifknhatemylife 0
this should be on MLIA. just saying:/
geovanni 9
no, the OPs life is endangered by his bastard father possibly hitting him or other innocents so this is an fml
g0o0_dj 0
that's not a fml and I love ur dad hahah lol
marquisallover 0
dump that mofo NOW
marquisallover 0
wait nevermind that last post i had to read it again oh and on another note YDI
FrecklesInside 0
Sorry to hear you have a dad who doesn't know how to be an adult.