Today, my father-in-law asked me if I have breast implants in front of the whole family for the third time this month. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today, my future father in law motorboated my breasts as I bent down to give him a hug goodbye. The rest of the family stood there laughing. This is what I'm marrying into? FML
Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
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Top comments
HoboMeth 36
You should threaten to implant your fist into his jaw if he says that again in front of the family
spn_fanboy14 12
Well, do you?
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Comments (74)
Pandongg 13
Ask him if he got penile implants lol.
Patriots21 14
This....this is a bad, bad idea.. Do not do this.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
And if you look to our left, you will see the part of the comments section made by people who want to get recognized but don't have brains or the ability to think of something even remotely humorous.
ohSNAPyall 27
Takes one to know one
writerchic85 26
If this is your father in law, I'm surprised your husband hasn't stepped up.
lvg_fml 10
Tell him... They're real and they're spectacular
rockwrench 18
Tell him if he's so interested in booby jobs maybe he should get a subscription to PornHub.
laurenemilyy 17
Just casually brush it off and say, "no, do you?" It will get through to him eventually. Good luck OP!
my2centsworth 15
It sounds as though he needs to be checked by a doctor. That's a pretty inappropriate question to keep forgetting the answer to.
writergirl1029 17
Yeah, ask your spouse or your mother-in-law if he was like this before. If not, he's may have Alzheimer's. Sexually inappropriate comments are a hallmark.
writergirl1029 17
he*, not he's. Stupid autocorrect.
ohSNAPyall 27
Ask your spouse, not the mother-in-law.
bitchs_and_hoes 20
Have your husband talk to his father. In private or not, it's not a question he should be asking.
benedictjongoh 10
you can say yes, your son paid for it, or no, but please check with your son to be sure..it should shut him up
freddygasman 18
just say wouldn't you like to know, your son does.
vegantreegirl 26
What is wrong with him? That's so inappropriate. Does no one else in the family call him out on his atrocious behavior?
Ih8teenageangst 20
I need more information, please send a picture :)