Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my dad told me he had been seeing someone for a while and has decided to marry her. When I met her, her son looked familiar. I lost my virginity to him. FML
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, I was masturbating when my dad came into my room to say goodnight. He leaned down over my bed, paused, and said, "What's that smell? It's like... oh." His face dropped and he left the room. I don't think he'll ever see me the same way again. FML
Today, I saw my father for the first time in two years. He felt compelled to tell me about how he got involved with a BDSM group and got an STD because of it. FML
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
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Top comments
mcfaily 0
he was giving pointers, how nice of him to lend a hand ;)
virusin 0
did he finger the hands? hahah get it FINGER! ohh f**k you guys u.u
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Comments (52)
OkageStarr 0
This is awkward at any age. My dad likes to rant about how his child with his current wife was conceived accidentally. And that's a guy-guy conversation. OP being a woman... probably not the most comfortable conversation.
texter102 0
aww man I'm soo sorry!! my rents just got me books which is way better
gfmodella24 0
that's disgusting. your dads weird
ecuakelly 0
lmaoo wow thats nasty
love_game911 0
either ur dad was a raper....a sex obsessed person....or he wanted to make sure u knew how sex works with two passionate ppl.....my mom told me this too....she even made the movements and hand gestures....I was 9 and I thought sex was just hard makeout on the bed.....my dad told me this story too...I NEVER asked...but they thought that if I knew they would le me know how my next subbling was made......
hickchikheather 0
lmao thats ****** up
p_ray67 0
Ewh, thats pretty sick. i'd hate to know stuff about my dad like that! FYL
Twi_lover_EC 6
ewwww....I wouldn't of even listened to my dad. I would of covered my ears and yelled I don't want to hear it.
treras93 0
who the **** cares, its just sex ******* grow up, dumbass. Ya, your dads done it before, and guess what he did your mom to have you. Oh shit sorry, did I just spill the beans... everyone does it. grow up.
tomwillkickyouin 0
dude shut up...you probably don't because you're too busy berating people over the Internet...you care too much
SheHasWine 0
Traumatizing but hilarious! I can kind of relate.