Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
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Top comments
STVader 0
what? you could get an erection at 7? ...that's not embarrassing dude that's awesome.
girandwogpig 0
Wow....I'm so sorry.
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Comments (97)
305alive 0
sweet child Porno dude. tell ur **** head parents that ***** illegal
NobodyUKnow 0
Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, that's a little out of line. I wouldn't have kept that tape around. Nothing funny about a child doing that.
Nyattack 14
I find the candor of a child who would act so naïve and amazed at this kind of thing quite funny/amusing, but videotaping it and showing the video to people is very disturbing...
ohhsnapp 0
hahahahha. oooh wow. that sucks dude! but its funny as hell!
flyboy57 0
LOL
Lisasimpsonfan 0
Sorry guy but family is for embarrassing you and bringing up stupid things you did as a kid. Just remember that if you have kids you can one day embarrass the hell out of them too.
DrAwesome 6
I MUST know your secret... :O
Ianslilgoofball 0
...Why would she keep something like that?
Vermelle 0
I don't see why everyone is so outraged at the mother, personally. Considering that the OP is probably pretty old (at least teen), then the video used to record that was probably a tape. You can't edit the tapes, as far as I know, and it would be pretty silly to toss the whole video simply because she accidentally recorded that. He probably yelled out "Hey mom", she turned and caught that on tape, then turned the camera away. Its not like she taped him masturbating or anything. Embarrassing, but no reason to throw it out.
webb1234 0
hahahahaha...at least teen is 'pretty old' and 'you can't edit tapes' lol!!! it's really funny to see people who legitimately don't remember video tapes or the 90s lol
CupidSparrow 0
OP was 7; get over it.
Scotticus117 11
you could purposefully get a boner at 7? wow that's amazing. i always just randomly got erections at that age, and i had no idea why. lol.
jujitsumaster 0
XD when I was 5 I remember gettin a boner watching star wars and freaking out because I didn't know what was happening