Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend and his friends laughing hysterically and practically choking on popcorn. They were watching a video of me in a school play, trying to sing while sobbing because I'd just pissed my pants in front of 200 people. Thanks for giving him the video, mom. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML
Today, I was hosting a small party for my nephews and a couple neighborhood kids. I unexpectedly started my period while I was serving the snacks. Have you ever been pointed and laughed at by a bunch of 12 year-olds? Ah, just like the good old days… FML
Today, was my birthday. My friends love to play pranks on me, so when I entered the door for my surprise party, I became aware of the surroundings. There was nothing. Everyone was staring as I slowly entered the room. When I closed the door behind me, a freaking bucket of pee fell all over me. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, while singing Happy Birthday to my husband, I desperately needed to fart. I couldn't leave the room, so I let it out real slow. There were over 20 of us there, yet somehow my mother-in-law knew it was me. She went over to the window and opened it wide, all while glaring at me. FML
Today, I ran into my apartment and let one rip, since I'd been holding it the whole elevator ride up. My parents had let themselves in while I was out, and laughed at me for a good 20 minutes. FML
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Top comments
STVader 0
what? you could get an erection at 7? ...that's not embarrassing dude that's awesome.
girandwogpig 0
Wow....I'm so sorry.
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Comments (97)
jewelzgalore 0
There's a beautiful paper bag around somewhere with your name on it. I think I can hear it calling to you. Sorry man.
blairbeartmp 0
shut up.
holytamole 0
I think that's really adorable. Y'know, in a "Kids say the Darnedest Things" way.
EveryDayJackAss 0
at least you werent like "Hey mom! I can make white stuff go out of my pee-pee and make it shoot on your ugly face!"
brit8741 0
fail.
Slum_Beautiful 0
Oh wise up, you were seven, get over it.
some_girl9 8
"By doing..." ...what? I'm wondering. lol
Diannaa 0
Lmao #59
screwlife23 0
my 8 yr old cousin told me that i make his peepee tingle. O.O
prisoncityprince 0
well, good news is that if you have a gf she'll know you were talented at a young age :)
happybillie 0
woah,,