Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year-old son decided to ask aloud, "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, my family and my fiancée's family met each other and my worst fear came true. My asshole dad found out my fiancée's dad is a reverend and his first sentence was, "How's the molestation business these days?" It didn't take long before a brawl erupted and we were kicked out. I'm cutting him off for good. FML
Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and me. It started with, "I love you", and ended with,"You and your brother were mistakes." FML
Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML
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Top comments
ohmyword08 0
aww, well you prove them wrong ! :D
jaskyriddims 0
Hi
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Comments (121)
impendingxapathy 0
I'm not the only thats happened too!! Yes! But still it'll be fine, I'm making more money than both my parents right out of college!!
Intoxicunt 6
Or Intoxicunt. The name alone should shock them.
tjoetjoe 0
at least you can write....it sucsk for you!!! but you did write it funny. i think you'll be fine :-D
giganticbrain 0
This one was written very well. I enjoyed this one a lot.
the_stereotype 0
i agree, this FML was written very well. i love how you ended it. i'm being totally serious. the wording was pretty much what made this FML funny
adiaboe27 4
At least you have a cool name! Btw retards, the hillbilly remarks are stupid. If you noticed the guy is from South America. Have some respect for otner cultures!
DrunkenValor 0
I'd argue that it's actually in the Carribean, hrhrhrhrhr retard. Sorry.
mo_the_owl 0
At least you live on a beautiful island, Dominica is gorgeous. Prove them wrong, I'm the black sheep of my family, too.
paivarotti 0
Fail on purpose, so you can prove the uselessness of prayer.
Intoxicunt 6
I laughed at this comment. Win.
movies12 0
WTF. WHY THE HELL ARE THERE PEOPLE ON HERE MAKING FUN OF THE POOR GUYS NAME. PEOPLE GROW UP. OP just tell them to suck it, and prove them wong.
JillianDramatic 1
What kind of name is Chev?
hellosies 0
lmfao.