Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant with my extended family. It was expensive, and when the bill came, I whispered to my brother, "We may need to make this one a Chew and Screw". When the waitress came back to the table, my five year-old son decided to ask aloud, "What's Chew and Screw?". FML
Today, I went to a family reunion with my brother and my mother. She spent quite a while giving a glowing introduction for my brother to one of her cousins. Then, just before walking off, she jerked a thumb in my direction and said, "Oh, yeah, and that's his sister." FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling his work buddy that he's disappointed in his kid. I assumed he meant my brother, for flunking out of school. He meant me, for quitting sports to focus on my studies. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, my family and my fiancée's family met each other and my worst fear came true. My asshole dad found out my fiancée's dad is a reverend and his first sentence was, "How's the molestation business these days?" It didn't take long before a brawl erupted and we were kicked out. I'm cutting him off for good. FML
Today, I had a serious conversation with my dad about my brother and me. It started with, "I love you", and ended with,"You and your brother were mistakes." FML
Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML
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Top comments
ohmyword08 0
aww, well you prove them wrong ! :D
jaskyriddims 0
Hi
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Comments (121)
Intoxicunt 6
Damn religious FMLs starting huge arguments. *Gets in tank* I'm prepared.
aalaewtbye 0
Why do people come in here just to make fun of them? do that for people that don't have a suckish life. you don't know if this kid is a failure or not. my parents think i'm a failure when i am a great person. maybe he's got the same thing. and seriously, maybe it's his nickname or maybe he's come from a different part of the world.
DrunkenValor 0
Maybe you have delusions of grandeur. I know I do, but then, am I deluded or just retarded? Or both.
DunHassleDuhHoff 0
Write a book that sells millions of copies and use a pen name like Wallabe Jones. Then so them the word document where you wrote it all and have your publisher prove it They'll be sucking for metephorical dick for the rest of your life.
Ihavetopee 0
I giggled at "metephorical dick".
Rats_fml 0
Dude, i feel your pain. My parents still think i'm a failure because i'm not married - a good career and several university degrees are apparently not mitigating factors! LOL Apparently if i have no husband, i am nothing. Similar prayers used to be said at my family dinner table. F THEIR lives for feeling that you have to live according to their expectations.
Exhumed 0
glad that there are still lucid ppl in this world :) i love you rats
VD007 0
LOL, YDI for being called Chev.
the_stereotype 0
aww...mine would just cause disappointment. man, i should have been more creative in picking a username (although, it isn't my first on here)
Suj 0
well, this is where you stand up, walk over to your parents in turn, slap them both, saying "how dare you set me up for failure, HOW DARE you throw my life away like that", then tell your little brother not to be rude and sit back down, and calmly eat your supper, if anyone says anything, tell them a child lives the life a parent gives them, and that they are no longer yours to you, because you refuse to accept that life. you don't need to mean it, just get that point across.
allmidnighteyes 11
pretty sure her's would be Cuntology
pattysays 0
FYI for being such a failure. I understand. I feel like such a failure too. FML.
gdude756 0
Your life must be one big failure then, AMEN