Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I checked into a hotel for a work trip. When I walked in, the sheets and bath mat were stained, and there was soap-encrusted hair stuck in my folded towel. When I got back later in the day, all my stuff was gone because they apparently thought I'd checked out. FML
Today, after far too many times of my brother stealing food out of my own personal mini fridge, I bought a lock and chained the handles together. I came back to find that my brother had responded by breaking the doors off their hinges. FML
Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, after our old roommate left because he was too dirty for us to live with anymore, we found out that our new roommate has "borrowed" our shampoo, towel, toilet paper, liquor, without replacing them. I wish we still only had to clean up. FML
Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the lock is broken) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML
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Top comments
briang959 47
Ask housekeeping for more. Guard it with your life. Problem solved.
trellz17 19
Uhh, just take them from him, use as much force as needed.
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Comments (83)
shaaza 16
Didn't think hotel soaps and shampoos can hold so much value...
baileygirl88 8
Where are your parents during this??
maddie1998 7
You didn't bring your own????
writerchic85 26
Is your brother Golem?
classicsparkles 17
Have you tried spraying him with a water bottle?
joyboy390 12
You didnt bring your own???
dark_angel4121 12
How many people are in your family? Because if it is only one of him against the rest of you, threaten him a body slam with everyone against him or the goods. That's what we do on my family.
Stuffaluffagus 25
Should have just brought your own. Hotel shampoo sucks anyway
cjfred 13
I certainly hope your brother is 4 or 5 years old, and not 30 or something.
Ashleighalfred 14
Who packs for a vacation and doesn't bring their own shower supplies? Your brother is childish for hoarding the soap but it's a bit of a YDI for not bringing your own stuff.