Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML
Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML
Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Bitch please I skinned one alive and turned into a purse." Is what you should answer.
DreamStatic 8
Return the favor.
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Comments (98)
NessaMae 19
I don't usually like to suggest fighting fire with fire, but she deserves it. OP, put her number on craigslist, see how she likes it.
Martinez0285 28
what if that backfires and she takes the first call she gets? :p
challan 19
I'd call and thank her, OP. Tell her after years of sex with her, women repulse you.
Wizardo 34
'Last week in Burma during the annual fashion show bitch, what about you?'
LolAtMyPosts 10
I feel you, man. One of my friend's exes (who hates my guts) did something similar to me. I get random calls and texts all the time asking about my 'rates' and 'how old am I willing to go'. Not cool, not cool at all.
challan 19
Are you willing to dress as Robin and be Batmans bad little sidekick?
notsofriendly 17
So put her address on there, and don't forget to mention her embarrassing fetish.
Enslaved 38
"My anaconda don't want none Unless you've got buns, hun"
ileenefudge 29
Cujo3269 9
Well, when was the last time?
crystalxa 35
I would do the same to her if I were you!
olpally 33
What a ****. Put her number on there and call her an "easy *****."
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lmfao @ the text you got.