Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML
Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls, all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, my friend put my phone number on Craigslist. I still can't find the ad, but obviously everyone else can because I still haven't stopped receiving naked pictures. FML
Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML
Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
"Bitch please I skinned one alive and turned into a purse." Is what you should answer.
DreamStatic 8
Return the favor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
jrock9093 18
Ewww what a Biach
604 11
Yes! Hilarious...
InsaneBolt 7
Well... when was the last time?
jaybone87 8
thats too funny. im gonna try that with my ex-wife.
worldclassrager 41
Change your number...she doesn't need to know it anymore anyway...
sweet23_fml 11
Unless op has children with her and pays child support.
Stayin_Classy777 8
Put her number in Craigslist, under the title, " if you need a HUGE parking space for you black anaconda , call this number"
dmklake 14
Boner Garage
ultra_notorious 26
sounds promising, you should explore that route!
mccrightp 29
You're ex sounds like a real snake!
theonecasey 27
You should thank her, tell her you were gay your whole marriage and she was dissatisfying !
crzyknt 9
Sign her up with a fetish for four legs and tail