Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML
Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
Today, my girlfriend did the whole "break up with your boyfriend and kick him out of the house" thing from the movies. Except it's my house. She kept my stuff. FML
Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML
Today, my roommate was packing up her kitchen stuff as she prepared to move out. Apparently that included the majority of things I bought last week to replace all of her stuff she is taking. FML
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Top comments
wicker75 0
she took your beard trimmer so she could shave her own beard.
yuggi1 11
Should had been there, OP. I can't believe you trusted her! She's your ex for a reason, remember that.
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Comments (121)
Efilyn 0
Why would she need your beard trimmer?
iBiteRoses 22
Because obviously she needed to trim her "under beard"
broadwaygirl22 0
I bet you did something to deserve that
daviddgaf 3
Guess She Liked That ShowerHead.
nickfraxer 0
I can one up that. Mine took the dryer sheets, toilet paper, and garbage cans.
evhrocks876 4
Were you dating the grinch?
The_9th_Doctor 18
well if she was a dirty cheater, she probably needed the soap.
Baller_Bob 17
Sue her
ermahgerd1236 6
Crazy ****, guess she'll need the beard trimmer for her fugly ass facial hair
CaroAurelia 12
You wouldn't happen to be my uncle, would you? He went to work one day and his now-ex-fiancée told him she'd have dinner on when he got back. He got back, and she was gone and she took EVERYTHING. Even the shower curtain. He dodged a bullet.
Crescent_Moon 17
I think she needed your beard trimmer more than you did man... Keep that in mind when you need to black-mail her sometime lol.