Today, my ex-boyfriend called to tell me that he had always made a point to eat some form of meat before making out with me. He'd known I was a vegetarian since the day we met. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Why? Because I became a vegetarian. Apparently, he doesn't believe in "not eating meat." FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend gets lunch every day at Burger King. I confronted him, and he broke up with me. Apparently, he only pretended to be vegan like me to get in my pants, and now the jig is up he dumped me so he can return to having meat at all three meals of the day. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded with, "That's nice. You know what I love? Chicken wings. Let's go get some." Apparently, he doesn't remember I'm a vegetarian either. FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the sauce he made for our dinner that was meat-based, trying to show me how nice meat is and stop me being a weirdo vegan. The reason I’m vegan is because my digestive system can’t handle animal protein. I’m writing this from the bathroom, vomiting myself to death. FML
Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend spent half his paycheck on gourmet steaks, bacon, and all sorts of other meat. When I reminded him we were trying to go meatless to help the planet, he said, "Yeah, I'm done with that. The planet can burn." We'd only been vegan three days. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DeathBunny218 37
It sounds like he just made up a lie because you two are no longer together, i mean if he ever cared about you why would he do such a thing when you were dating.
imustbeinsane 2
It's not that she had contact with meat, its the fact that her ex put in the extra effort just to be an asshole
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (86)
rockandrollah 1
YDI. Meat is the greatest food type ever. Just typing this is making me hungry. . .
SirMoose 0
She doesn't deserve it, but I agree with you that meat is amazing :)
BraBrando 0
Looks like some vegetarians are giving you thumbs down.
TanyaKJC 9
Actually in my opinion, vegetarian foods can taste way better than the actual meat itself, minus the fats real meat contains. Ik meat lovers who agree with some of it
t765234 10
Hahahahahahaha Just keep telling yourself that.
allmidnighteyes 11
You can't make vegetarian/vegan bacon taste as good as real bacon. There's just no possible way.
Ugi 27
He's lying to wind you up. Don't rise to it.
himynameischeese 6
well it's a good thing your not together with him because he's a loser!!!
metalhead5564 0
I think we all know what kind of "meat" he had in his mouth... XD
x_messyjessy_x 0
Oh oh I know!!!! BEEF!! Am I right??
annafii 7
Urgh. My boyfriend makes a point not to eat meat if I'm going to see him within the next day. What an absolute jackass your ex is - I hope he's making that up. If not...did you never realise he was such a dick? :/
metalhead5564 0
She probably did realize how much of a dick he is because she said *ex* boyfriend not boyfriend. I just hope she was the one who dumped him...
ToyotaObsession 1
Your boyfriend sounds like he's whipped.
annafii 7
It was his choice? And @metalhead, lmao, you're probably right there.
samanthanicolee 0
Sounds like a childish thing for him to say
thomas357 0
the fact that it is a big deal is STUPID!!!
Phendraana 0
big deal, don't be so stuck up. humans are made of meat so you were making out with meat everytime you kissed him anyway.
Das_Judenburg 0
Smart.
audiophileMom 11
Sorry but this is just hilarious. I'm sure if you wouldn't have treated him as inferiour for eating a healthy diet he wouldn't have felt the need to do that. Always wondered why some ppl find it neccessary to push what's good for them on everybody else. And fyi i don't eat meat either.
lidemocr 0
"My girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian...MMMMmmm this is one tasty burger"...Jules, Pulp Fiction ;)
Soloman212 28
There must have been a huge introductory paragraph to this FML that I missed... Or you're assuming a shitload of things.
RyNo24 4
I like your Boyfriend, eat some meat, it's natural...
atldude28 7
A vegetarian who only ate one meat... HIS!