By TCRII - 13/06/2018 15:52

Today, my estranged wife, who I am divorcing, asked me to find homes for our animals. I have a dog, which I am keeping. She has 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 pig, 3 goats, 2 horses and 54 chickens. FML
I agree, your life sucks 3 422
You deserved it 371

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OP, Your name wouldn't happen to be "Noah," would it by any chance?

Offer to have a pig roast, with sides of fried chicken, and curried goat. Then take a trip to the glue factory, and end your day at a local Chinese restaurant.

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Is Old MacDonald still single ? Set him up with your ex and all her livestock !

OP, Your name wouldn't happen to be "Noah," would it by any chance?

Nah, the numbers are all wrong.

My name is No, My sign is No, My number is No.

Tell her the local Chinese restaurant has offered to take them off your hands, bet she finds them a home herself after that!

No partridge in a pear tree?

Divorce her now while you still have time. Otherwise this crackpot will raise a zoo and ask you to find a fucking jungle for them before you separate, in future.

He stated that she is estranged (separated) and that he is divorcing her....

Who cares? Why to go in secondary details? Main thing i wanted to say was don't give her more time so she increases her animal squad.

if you have a no-kill animal shelter nearby, they should take them! I don’t know how it is where you are, but my county shelter takes livestock; definitely ask and see if they can take them, or if they know organizations who can

Offer to have a pig roast, with sides of fried chicken, and curried goat. Then take a trip to the glue factory, and end your day at a local Chinese restaurant.

You know horse meat is delicious and nutritious, right?

and i feel like you should specify which animal goes to the chinese restaurant.

Ammo is cheap. build a big fire. invite everyone you know over. problem solved.

The English language has a great word for such requests: No. Learn it, use it.

Damn it, Old McDonald, this is so sad. Hope you keep the farm....Ee a ee a oh!