Today, my estranged wife, who I am divorcing, asked me to find homes for our animals. I have a dog, which I am keeping. She has 3 dogs, 4 cats, 1 pig, 3 goats, 2 horses and 54 chickens. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife and I agreed to get two horses. She got three horses and a pregnant goat. FML
Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML
Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML
Today, my landlord came over while I wasn't home. My friend and her pets were thrown out by her husband. I'm the only person she knows in this state and she begged me to stay. I reluctantly told her fine; just don't answer the door. She did, with the animals, and told him she was living here. FML
Today, my mother moved in to my 2-bedroom apartment with me. She brought her boyfriend, 4 chihuahuas, and 2 birds with her. FML
Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML
Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML
Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML
Today, my wife said she wants a divorce. Three days ago, I added her onto the title to my house, my bank accounts, and my business. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I could watch her mother's cats while they go on vacation. I agreed since her house is on my way to work. When I talked to her mother, I found out she has 30-something cats. She reckons she lost count. FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
OP, Your name wouldn't happen to be "Noah," would it by any chance?
Vern Ehlers 5
Offer to have a pig roast, with sides of fried chicken, and curried goat. Then take a trip to the glue factory, and end your day at a local Chinese restaurant.
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Comments (36)
adelaine782002 17
hey, just turn the cats and dogs into hunting partners, and cook up the rest.. You will have breakfast, lunch, and supper for weeks!
sirmackdaddy 4
You can find a home for the pig and chickens... in your belly
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm an animal lover, and even I had to ask why it's your job to find homes for her animals. It's her problem. End of story.
Emma Marshall 19
Why isn't she keeping them....
gamermonster 34
I’ll take 5 of those chickens if you don’t mind... I love chickens I want chickens Aaaaaa gimme chickens
simcityguy09 19
Say no
T1A2Z3 35
Surely you could make a lot of money out of selling all these animals? Horses are hella expensive
T1A2Z3 35
Surely you could make a lot of money out of selling all these animals? Horses are hella expensive