Kids: Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's...

By OakStake - 08/12/2013 22:07 - United States - New York

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 308

You deserved it 3 421

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/06/2016 02:45 - United States - Chillicothe

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 802

You deserved it 1 269

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 073

You deserved it 4 427

By JubileeBee - 28/09/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 358

You deserved it 2 416

By secretsmakefriends - 15/10/2013 21:43 - United States - Vashon

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 832

You deserved it 5 171

By walker - 06/07/2013 04:17 - United States

Today, I went over my girlfriend of 3 months' house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 671

You deserved it 4 906

Kids, eh?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my four year-old daughter when we met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman I know. My daughter looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 551

You deserved it 168

By orcatheseapanda - 09/01/2016 05:14 - Thailand

Today, I was stretching on the balcony, when I heard my neighbor's daughter scream. She was playing in their kiddie pool and thought I was peeping on her. And now her parents think so too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 176

You deserved it 1 413

By WanstinChurchHill - 08/09/2009 07:11 - United States

Today, I met a nice girl and decided to ask her out. Later on she showed me a picture of her with her family, she was wearing red and everyone else black. I said jokingly "you look like the adopted child" only to find out that her had parents died and she was indeed adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 364

You deserved it 41 254

By Anonymous - 07/04/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 534

You deserved it 58 231

By BlackRavenWings - 21/11/2010 22:36 - United States

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 910

You deserved it 35 706

chottu 16

Monday 9 December 2013 6:08

Some people are just crazy, don't mind them. I'm sure your daughter is beautiful.

VengeanceChicken 12

Monday 9 December 2013 6:09

Just slowly close the door and whisper "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnneeeeee...."

Comments

QuagD 17

Sunday 6 March 2016 23:56

Im sure she is lovely. Red eyes are cool

MDaemonM 14

Wednesday 22 June 2016 8:04

call the cops if they will not leave

IHaveThePower 16

Wednesday 21 June 2023 6:53

Call the police and get a restraining order. If the cops shoot the priest or old lady...yeah, they deserve it.

Keywords

Transportation Annoying Music Boredom Awkward Cars Embarrassing Kids Family Babysitter Relatable Thief Money Food Miscellaneous Gross Farts Mental health Health Depression Weird Pregnancy AITA Creepy Star Wars Social Media Facebook Work Wanker Love

The Top

Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 436

You deserved it 5 100

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 827

You deserved it 1 358

The Top

Today, my father came back from a business trip in Canada. He handed me an "I Love Canada" pen. He brought back an Xbox 360 for my younger brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 116

You deserved it 3 343

Today, I finally got my big TV debut. After thousand of dollars in acting classes and years of waiting to become a professional actress, I got featured in a commercial. I will be rubbing toilet paper against my face for all of four seconds. Hurray, fame! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 398

You deserved it 629

Today, I found out my “boyfriend” is going out with me because he feels sorry for me. He and his friends have a group chat where they call me “Miss Piggy” and post fat jokes about me. I have a thyroid condition and hurt both my knees in an accident, so it’s really hard for me to be in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 119

Today, I found out my sister has a nickname for me due to my recent breakouts. It's "volcano face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 358

You deserved it 4 836

Today, as usual, I worked at McDonald's. Although I tried to diffuse the situation, an old man was absolutely furious, and punched me in the face over BBQ sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 125

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 729

You deserved it 1 653

Same thing different taste

Kids, eh?

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