Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
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Top comments
MisterDoctor 12
Looks like someone went to the closet and.. *puts on sunglasses*.. let the dogs out.
xy798 8
Your dog came out to you. In the park. In front of other people. Sounds wonderful.
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Comments (113)
challan 19
I am picturing a little triangle sack to slobber tongue action for foreplay, then a train doggie style. Followed by a relaxing smoked sausage snack. I am putting way to much thought into this.
TheNamelessOne 9
The other 2 were dogs also right? You didn't clarify...
RedPillSucks 33
sigh... I could have gone all week without that imagery.
benmec 18
A dog's actions are a clear reflection of their owners... Just sayin...
maccapacca 10
Clearly you're just jealous. Maybe if you ask nicely next time he'll let you join in?
chrissy2 28
My dog wiped her ass on a gravel road as people were walking by. Love them to death, but dogs do some pretty embarrassing stuff.
Undefined323 5
Or did he dominate?
lozzaaa96 13
I eat massive amounts of spaghetti.
DinosaurTacoTime 18
How is this f your life? Seeing as dogs have minds of their own. I don't understand why anyone should be embarrassed by what their dogs do in public.
kristof16 1
Who let the dogs out? Who? Who? Who? Who?
supportcommand 17
C'mon people... We need more down thumbs to bury this comment.
KiddNYC1O 22
46- You asked for it, literally.
kyiomi 18
Nice! Although, they were just fighting for dominance, it is hilarious to see who is the dominant male. You are lucky they found that out that way, otherwise it would have been a massive dog fight. Haha! Love the username!