Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I took my dog to the dog park and let him off the leash for a bit. He ran straight towards a group of people having a picnic, jumped on their blanket, and devoured half of their food before I could catch him. They were surprisingly forgiving, but I had to buy them lunch to make up for it. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML
Today, in the middle of what I thought was an empty park, I told my dog he’s the “goodest, bestest boy” while out on a walk. A stranger appeared out of nowhere, gave me a thumbs-up, and said, “You too, champ.” FML
Today, my dog was watching me and started to have a hard-on, for half an hour. FML
Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I took my dog to the puppy park to meet girls. I met one very attractive girl, she loved my puppy, and she asked for my number. As she took out her phone, my dog defecated on her feet. She was wearing sandals. FML
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Top comments
MisterDoctor 12
Looks like someone went to the closet and.. *puts on sunglasses*.. let the dogs out.
xy798 8
Your dog came out to you. In the park. In front of other people. Sounds wonderful.
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Comments (113)
panda_lou 11
I have no idea why but I got the imagery of him saying "hey mom, you do it like this!" With the song "this is how we do it." Playing in the background.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
That could've made one of hell of a post card with the right caption.
hateevryone 15
What the hell?
DaggersEdge 6
ummm i really hope he was giving and not recieving
hyperjosh 2
What................. The ****?!?!?!
GuinnessGirrrl 8
No big deal... they're just trying to establish dominance to see who is alpha
dannnngthatsux 19
That alpha crap is just that, crap. Originally it was applied by a scientist to wolves but when someone looked closer it was only wolves in captivity. There's a much more fluid set of relationships in the wild.
xgetxbentx 13
That's actually not that uncommon. Odds are they just humped and weren't ACTUALLY having sex. That's one way dogs show dominance over one another. The fact that there was three might be a bit more uncommon, but humping the same gender dog isn't.
MR_RODSQUAD 11
I really hope your dog was just confused or something.........no that can't be it.
SoultheWolf 19
You do realize, that dogs (both male and female) hump to show dominance right? I've seen dogs hump other dogs in the face while another humps their back to show dominance. It's not uncommon or unnatural. Unless one actually got attached with another then it wasn't for sex.
jep00 8
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