Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, I was teaching a girl from the neighborhood how to cook, telling her to start by washing the veggies. She said, "Oh, because you’re vegan, right?" No dear, because they’re dirty. FML
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today, I got home to my daughter in tears because her dad decided 5 was the ideal age to tell her the chicken, bacon, and mince she eats every day comes from dead chickens, piggies, and moo cows. I now have a vegetarian 5 year-old and I’m seriously worried about malnutrition and stunted growth. FML
Today, my daughters announced they had big news. They had a whole presentation saying they wanted our entire family to go vegan. When I told them, as gently as I could, that that was never happening, they burst into tears, screaming, "The planet is burning! Meat is killing us all!" They're 11 and 9. FML
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Top comments
thebigtwinkie 28
Just a mistake, I'm going to guess that your daughter doesn't know what virgin means so she's not to blame, and neither is OP
saba_ajira 29
Those, my friends, are two very different words. Sorry you had to deal with that OP
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Comments (127)
ooft 8
Plot twist, she actually meant virgin
deepdownunder 3
she is ur daughter. the teacher should know that u had to have had sex for her to be born and she still thought virgin. kudos the school that hired her!
Ichiya 29
Um just because op had sex doesn't mean that her daughter isn't a virgin.
rocker_chick23 27
#68: Um...The daughter said she wasn't a virgin any more. Learn to read. She didn't say anything about her mother.
DinosaurTacoTime 18
I have a vegan friend. The kind that would get sick if you ate meat around him. His 5 year old is vegan by choice. He's never once said she couldn't eat something but she still chooses to be vegan. For the record if any of his kids wanted meat he'd cook it for them. He'd hate himself but he'd do it for his kids.
rocker_chick23 27
Kudos to your friend. I wish more vegans were like that.
Merylwen 24
It doesn't matter if it's the kid's choice or not. It's unhealthy either way and your friend is irresponsible for letting his 5 year-old deprive himself like that.
Ichiya 29
As long as they eat a good diet its fine.
mattrd_fml 31
How old is she? she was a vegan when younger? I don't think it's healthy for a very young child to be vegan. thanks goodness she's not a vegan anymore.
rocker_chick23 27
If she doesn't know the difference between virgin and vegan, I would say young.
EvilLittleMan 23
Vegan and Virgin... The word is meat.
Murkyy 15
Either way she's not getting any meat
rambleramble3 11
Eww, vegan
firstbasemaster 15
Haha she has began to eat meat
ChildrenOfFilth 12
That should've gone up on Things Kids Say with Bill Cosby.
beanthemouse 13
Teachers think they are so flawless, yet some, like this one, make stupid mistakes. Anyways, not all vegans are bad. My Boyfried is a vegetarian soon to be vegan and he is nothing like the crazy ones you meet online. He is OK with me eating meat. It annoys me, and him, when people say all vegans are like that. They are not. Why do people get so butthurt over what we put in our mouths?! (dirty double meaning intended) Also, I do not get why people are saying making your child a vegan when you are is "forcing" and "child abuse". Isn't meat the same thing? If the doctor said they should not be vegan then duh, of course its bad! But if the doctor said it was OK, then its OK. If they wanna change when they are older they should be allowed to. The OP said FML about the teachers mistake, not the childs change of lifestyle.
katertott 44
I agree. It's annoying when people get all bent out of shape over what I do and don't eat. I don't get pissed off when other people eat meat, so why on earth should they get upset that I don't? After all, more for them. I still prepare and serve it to my family every now and then- but that's only because I don't trust some of my family members to not burn the house down or to cook things thoroughly. Better to be safe than sorry! Since everyone else is judging and throwing out generalizations, I'll just point out that in my personal experience, it's (ironically) the omnivores that have the most "vicious" reaction to alternative eating habits, Again, that's just me. I know a few who are totally fine with them. Others... not so much. Sure, my family served me meat when I was a kid, but that didn't mean they literally forced me to eat it. They don't serve it to me now, and that doesn't mean they're forcing me to go without.
limabeans101029 21
103... No, it was OP's daughter who said "virgin" instead of "vegan", because she'd gotten her words confused. All the teacher did was call OP and tell her that the daughter had said she "isn't virgin anymore", which would be quite a concerning thing to hear from a young child.