Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, I was teaching a girl from the neighborhood how to cook, telling her to start by washing the veggies. She said, "Oh, because you’re vegan, right?" No dear, because they’re dirty. FML
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by saying, "Good morning! We're going to be vegans from now on." FML
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML
Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML
Today, I got home to my daughter in tears because her dad decided 5 was the ideal age to tell her the chicken, bacon, and mince she eats every day comes from dead chickens, piggies, and moo cows. I now have a vegetarian 5 year-old and I’m seriously worried about malnutrition and stunted growth. FML
Today, my daughters announced they had big news. They had a whole presentation saying they wanted our entire family to go vegan. When I told them, as gently as I could, that that was never happening, they burst into tears, screaming, "The planet is burning! Meat is killing us all!" They're 11 and 9. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thebigtwinkie 28
Just a mistake, I'm going to guess that your daughter doesn't know what virgin means so she's not to blame, and neither is OP
saba_ajira 29
Those, my friends, are two very different words. Sorry you had to deal with that OP
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
Kels789 15
When I was little I kept saying "******" instead of "organism" I was so confused why my mom kept correcting me. It happens.
ladybuglet 22
Why on earth would you make your child a vegan? They need a balanced diet that includes meat. I'm sorry OP but that's just wrong. And before everyone gets on the bandwagon of saying I'm wrong for saying it, I can appreciate people's values and beliefs but I don't think they should be pushed on children. And I also suppose it depends how old your child is but if they don't know the difference between "vegan" and "virgin", I would have to say they are still very young.
Edumcg 24
"pushed on children" how's that any different from parents forcing a child to eat meat? I wish I had vegan parents. Just saying. Let her raise her child, if she sees a problem I'm sure she'll do whatever she can to solve it :)
Ichiya 29
In my experience it has been the vegans/vegetarians that try to force their eating habits more so than omnivores. Mostly because they have stronger opinions about diets than omnivores. Not saying either is bad, but from an evolutionary stand point humans have lived quite well as omnivores. Then again back in the begining we only ate meat when we could get it and survived mostly on vegetables.
Edumcg 24
Yeah I'm just concerned of the expression "push your beliefs" everyone 'push their beliefs' on their children. Christian, vegan, muslim, there's no difference because your children live with you. In the moment they develop their own opinions and judgments they decided whether to follow what they have been told or not.
thebigtwinkie 28
Wow
knoxxx 22
I don't ever believe forcing your child to live a certain lifestyle or believe something is right, not unless you explain why they are doing it to them first or give them the option to choose for themselves. But it is VERY possible OP's child decided to become a vegan of her own choice, or that a doctor recommended the diet to pick out food allergies. So instead of berating OP for her poor parenting choices, notice her child is not a vegan anymore, and that you don't know every detail of the story. (and dairy is thought to be a high contributor to osteoporosis when humans consume it past weening. it is much healthier to get calcium from supplements.)
Ichiya 29
At young ages children do not have the capability to make rational choices on such difficult subjects. That is why parents take care of them. Because of this it gets difficult to not bias your children with your preferences. Try allowing them to eat things that you may not like or particularly agree with. Once you establish what they like make a balanced diet for them. When they reach 10 or 11 introduce them to veganism and vegetarianism and let them decide.
mary_13 26
#48 It is not more healthy I'm sorry but that's just wrong definitely not for a child still developing, some of those supplements can be harmful even more so for a child.#
FAH_Q_2 3
Too funny. Love that whole, "kids say the darnedest things" phase children go through.
AmethystOcean 7
the teacher could have asked a few questions to clear things up. She was just being lazy!
HunterMark 14
YDI for giving her the Vegan disease.
worldclassrager 41
The question is how old she is...at a specific age just a common mix up...things will probably be cleared up pretty quickly
Chiroptera_Man 10
Why would you force a kid to be vegan? O:
FAH_Q_2 3
Too funny. Love that whole, "kids say the darnedest things" phase children go through. Remember these moments...it's so much fun to share these stories with them when they can appreciate the humor. *** To those of you who felt so compelled to weigh-in on, and question this parents' choices with regard to raising her own child...SHAME ON ALL OF YOU!! If providing your insights serves as some form of resolve for you, do us all a favor and share them with someone who might actually care. FML is by no means a forum for armchair therapists to criticize others. Next you feel the urge to hide behind your keyboard, offering your unsolicited "words of wisdom" instead, please phone a friend and spare us your diatribe.
Ichiya 29
Parenting choices are one thing, but forcing children into such a restrictive diet is bad. Especially when they could get bullied over it. If the child chooses it on their own then support them but don't make them that way by lecturing them on the "wrongs" of eating meat.
katertott 44
If simply not serving something is "forcing" someone to not eat it, then serving something would also be considered "forcing" someone to eat it. Depending where in the world one may be... There are parents that don't serve caviar or brussel sprouts to their children. There are also some that serve dog or insects on a fairly regular basis. Just because it's served- or not- doesn't necessarily mean that they're "forcing" it- or not- down a kid's throat.
Ichiya 29
It does if they don't make other diets known and available to their children.