Today, my daughters announced they had big news. They had a whole presentation saying they wanted our entire family to go vegan. When I told them, as gently as I could, that that was never happening, they burst into tears, screaming, "The planet is burning! Meat is killing us all!" They're 11 and 9. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML
Today, my daughter came home from school crying hysterically. Apparently, her teacher is a vegan douchebag who told the whole class, "If your family eats meat, they're eating your future!" Now she screams when we eat meat. FML
Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML
Today, I told my younger sister that meat comes from cute animals like chickens and cows, hoping she'd want to be vegan like me. Instead, she laughed and made up a song about how chickens turn into tenders and cows turn into cheeseburgers. I ended up being the one who got upset. FML
Today, I got home to my daughter in tears because her dad decided 5 was the ideal age to tell her the chicken, bacon, and mince she eats every day comes from dead chickens, piggies, and moo cows. I now have a vegetarian 5 year-old and I’m seriously worried about malnutrition and stunted growth. FML
Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML
Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML
Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not a virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", Honey. FML
Today, my son is a vegan who keeps talking about how Just Stop Oil are technically the good guys. My wife won’t stop crying because she thinks we’ve failed as parents by raising an arsehole. I've had a migraine ever since this argument. FML
Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
So do like I did with my kids that wanted to go Vegan. My wife and I didn’t change, neither did other kids, but we did acknowledge the two who wanted to, and I actually learned to make Vegan dishes for them. I also encouraged them to learn how to make things they wanted as well. Today, they are 12 and 17, and both know how to make meals and the 17yr old even purchases stuff with his own money to contribute to the grocery bill. I didn’t invalidate their feelings and instead encouraged them to embrace what they wanted.
Anderling 33
I sincerely doubt that they got to this level of militant veganism out of nowhere. Maybe see where they got it from before doing damage control.
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Comments (8)
wtafisgoah54 4
To quote a famous comedian: “cow flatulence is ruining the world, what are you doing about it?!?!?” ….. “I’m eatin’ the cows!”
Thaylok 17
I wonder where they learned everything in their presentation? I blame video games.
reetuuw 3
wtf? why not just regular videos?
Thaylok 17
I love Video Games. That is the common scapegoat in the blame game.
Charlie Given 28
Maybe start monitoring what they are watching on the internet 🤦♂️
HayNow 11
Or maybe they have friends that they hear things from. Not everyone is influenced by the internet.
Anderling 33
I sincerely doubt that they got to this level of militant veganism out of nowhere. Maybe see where they got it from before doing damage control.
tiptoppc 21
You should see the propaganda PETA handed out at my schools back in elementary and junior high schools. This was mid to late 90’s. Jeebus, that stuff scares the hell out of kids. PETA should just be classified as a terrorist organisation. There are other organisations which picked up the torch in ideology PETA was founded on, except the mental ward isn’t in charge, unlike PETA.
RichardPencil 32
Nah, microplastics and nuclear war will kill us first.
mike3775 39
So do like I did with my kids that wanted to go Vegan. My wife and I didn’t change, neither did other kids, but we did acknowledge the two who wanted to, and I actually learned to make Vegan dishes for them. I also encouraged them to learn how to make things they wanted as well. Today, they are 12 and 17, and both know how to make meals and the 17yr old even purchases stuff with his own money to contribute to the grocery bill. I didn’t invalidate their feelings and instead encouraged them to embrace what they wanted.
cpguru24 18
Welcome to clown world.
Billsonhamsen 17
Schools are lying to children now. It not just meat. Many young people literally think humans will die out from global warming. That's not what even the worst possible scientific scenario says. Their teachers are teaching them to be activists instead of doing good. They think it is better to force others to do what you want instead of you doing what is right first. There are even some classes that require students to participate in a protests. This is what you get.