Miscellaneous: Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He...

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for buying chunky peanut butter. He wanted smooth. Apparently he's "allergic to peanuts." I had to explain to him why his argument made no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 329

You deserved it 2 651

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 27/12/2013 06:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 003

You deserved it 3 517

By stuckwithafamilyofcunts - 27/04/2013 20:23 - Spain - El Puig

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 638

You deserved it 3 675

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 825

You deserved it 2 132

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By nutfreak - 12/08/2013 15:24 - United States - Lutherville Timonium

Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 603

You deserved it 3 629

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 972

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 596

You deserved it 225

By birthdayboy - 19/06/2019 16:22

Today, it was my birthday. My only birthday present was a cake that my dad bought from Walmart. Well, it sure looked tasty. The only problem: it had nuts on it. Guess what I'm highly allergic too? At least my dad told me he'd "tell me how it tastes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 906

You deserved it 146

All you can eat buffet of shit

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 94

Treat your pets properly!

By Anonymous - 23/10/2019 19:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I had an argument with my dad about how Alpo dog food is trash and is why his dog keeps having terrible farts and diarrhea. My dad refuses to believe me, so now I'm always scrubbing vile, smelly, mucous-laden dog diarrhea out of the carpet. I'm a pet nutritionist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 171

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 953

You deserved it 3 982

Midrash 5

Friday 14 October 2011 18:55

I am surprise a guy like that was able to get laid

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 14 October 2011 19:48

I feel the same way about girl scout cookies.

Comments

garviel 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 12:16

That awkward moment when you realise your father is a retard.

FlyingLazerWALRU 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 12:29

SpreadEagle

GamerMaster2041 12

Saturday 15 October 2011 17:09

damn

cwells0430 12

Saturday 15 October 2011 17:35

You should make him eat both to see what happens

AP_Wumbology 0

Saturday 15 October 2011 18:27

Your dad is a nut job.

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 15 October 2011 21:27

Sorry 2 say it, but, your Dad sounds like he's a few drops short of a piss! Really confuse him by asking him if he's allergic to his own nuts!

PoppyRockeys 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 1:38

I laughed. So hard. 5 stars.

wannbaussiegurl 4

Sunday 16 October 2011 6:56

I know how you feel, my brother claims the same shit. *******...

dimestorepoet 0

Sunday 16 October 2011 10:23

Forgive me because I haven't read all the comments only some but, my mom is deathly allergic to peanuts. It's the actual nut that gets to her. If she eats them, she gets stomach cramps, clamy, sick and she could die unless she has prednazone. So... I'm sorry and I understand. :|