Intimacy and Transportation: Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have...

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 123

You deserved it 1 371

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Same thing different taste

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 784

You deserved it 30 056

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 132

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 5 091

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 2 715

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 852

You deserved it 3 237

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 1 783

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 261

You deserved it 5 711

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 029

You deserved it 7 287

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 101

You deserved it 1 903

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 413

You deserved it 4 879

Wolverine48Ga 21

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:42

No he just had a super long dick lol

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:22

So, you're into aural sex?

Comments

AndySamberg 9

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:19

Was her head on your crotch or something?

Wolverine48Ga 21

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:42

No he just had a super long dick lol

crudeandrudeguy 29

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:41

Am I the only one who noticed they are recycling these as new FML's??

sgcaudell 27

Thursday 26 January 2017 6:34

Why does it say the op is a female but they had an erection?

The_Bleeder 13

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:19

Because FML needs to fix the genders, comment sections. Etc...

trumpet27 1

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:54

it says male.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:22

So, you're into aural sex?

squigmo 0

Friday 27 January 2017 0:56

OP should be careful with that. She might get hearing AIDs.

Konarika 11

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:49

I mean ears must be pretty tight

trumpet27 1

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:56

if I were u, I would just ignore that part and just be happy that she fell asleep on you. Good luck!?

Magnoxidans 19

Thursday 26 January 2017 17:26

Doesn't matter still counts

Balphleair 24

Thursday 26 January 2017 17:52

Self control darling. Self control.

399 41

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:14

Hmmmmm, I sure do love bonners in my ear.

604 11

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:52

It's funny because you're from Penisvania

species4872 19

Thursday 26 January 2017 19:17

It it come out the other ear as well?

Keywords

Work Cute Awkward Transportation Parenting Accident Cars Coffee Relatable Annoying Roommate Food Miscellaneous Parents Paranoia Texting Kids Mental health Anger issues Argument Love Intimacy Sex Dad jokes Cops Shopping Technology Embarrassing Sports Proposal

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 398

You deserved it 15 005

Today, according to my wife, if we hadn’t gotten drunk and pregnant on the first date, she never would've chosen me to be her husband, as I’m not her type, not even close, and that frankly I’m lucky her Catholic upbringing was the only thing that stopped her having multiple affairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 69

The Top

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 169

You deserved it 5 092

Today, at a party, a fly flew into my mouth. I spat it out, and in an effort to wash my mouth out, I grabbed the can of coke that was on the table next to me. Apparently people had been spitting in there and using it as an ashtray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 747

You deserved it 9 822

Today, after a long day at work, my legs were aching by the time I got home. Tired, I tried to go to bed early. Now the only thing preventing me from sleeping is the pain in my legs. It’s 4 a.m. now and no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 104

Today, I had to watch my grandparents' dogs. Unfortunately, my grandparents forgot to tell me that their new dogs bark non-stop whenever anyone else is in the house, which inspires the older dogs to do the same thing. The result: Five dogs barking incessantly, for hours on end. This is exactly why I'm a cat person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 174

Today, I was on webcam with my girlfriend, who was naked. She turned the webcam to point it at the screen for a second, and she was also on webcam with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 664

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 709

You deserved it 7 582

Same thing different taste

Reunited

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