Intimacy and Transportation: Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have...

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 10:04 - United States - Newtown

Today, my crush fell asleep on me on the bus. This would have been fantastic if I didn't immediately have an erection in her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 127

You deserved it 1 372

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Same thing different taste

By dickface - 28/03/2011 20:13 - Canada

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 802

You deserved it 30 068

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 133

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 5 092

By marlow - 15/01/2009 02:25 - Canada

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 868

You deserved it 2 718

By vishurricanes - 10/06/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 857

You deserved it 3 239

By mavrick127 - 29/09/2016 14:21 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I finally had the chance to have sex with my crush. Too bad I couldn't get an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 1 788

By nevergoingonabusagain - 30/05/2009 06:52 - Canada

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 264

You deserved it 5 713

By Anonymous - 04/04/2013 18:04 - Portugal - Sintra

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 035

You deserved it 7 289

By perverted teenage girl - 29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 104

You deserved it 1 908

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 421

You deserved it 4 881

Wolverine48Ga 21

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:42

No he just had a super long dick lol

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:22

So, you're into aural sex?

Comments

AndySamberg 9

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:19

Was her head on your crotch or something?

Wolverine48Ga 21

Wednesday 25 January 2017 22:42

No he just had a super long dick lol

crudeandrudeguy 29

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:41

Am I the only one who noticed they are recycling these as new FML's??

sgcaudell 27

Thursday 26 January 2017 6:34

Why does it say the op is a female but they had an erection?

The_Bleeder 13

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:19

Because FML needs to fix the genders, comment sections. Etc...

trumpet27 1

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:54

it says male.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:22

So, you're into aural sex?

squigmo 0

Friday 27 January 2017 0:56

OP should be careful with that. She might get hearing AIDs.

Konarika 11

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:49

I mean ears must be pretty tight

trumpet27 1

Thursday 26 January 2017 16:56

if I were u, I would just ignore that part and just be happy that she fell asleep on you. Good luck!?

Magnoxidans 19

Thursday 26 January 2017 17:26

Doesn't matter still counts

Balphleair 24

Thursday 26 January 2017 17:52

Self control darling. Self control.

399 41

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:14

Hmmmmm, I sure do love bonners in my ear.

604 11

Thursday 26 January 2017 18:52

It's funny because you're from Penisvania

species4872 19

Thursday 26 January 2017 19:17

It it come out the other ear as well?

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Am I overreacting? Relatable Coworkers Frustration Capitalism Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 157

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 275

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, I posted a story on Instagram just so a certain someone who has been ghosting me could reply. He didn't. He never even opened my Instagram story. I should give up by now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 131

Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 019

You deserved it 4 610

Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 089

You deserved it 9 513

Today, just as we got done having probably the best sex of our relationship, my partner called me her ex's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 167

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 769

You deserved it 12 467

Today, my landlord came and beat on my door demanding the rent check. I just got home from a trip and my wife was supposed to pay it while I was away. What happened to the money? Black Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 015

You deserved it 3 882

Same thing different taste

Reunited

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