Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML
Today, my coworker thought it would be funny to throw my keys up onto the top shelf in storage. I'm 4'10. FML
Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Today, I came home after a long day at work to find the furniture in my living room had been rearranged by my mother-in-law. When asked how she got in, she told us she stole my husband's key and made herself a copy. She can now come here whenever she wants, unless I change the locks. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
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Top comments
Lehk 9
get a lock smith in there ASAP and never allow your cousin near your place again
Ambient25 24
Time to feed a wire from your doorknob to the electrical panel
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Comments (72)
deathskittlez 6
Okay, your cousin is an entire bag of *****. Get new locks, NOW. Disown the asshat and if he shows up for any reason, brick + sock + his face.
Interwebzombie 15
What you should do is call your cousin over to hang out or something and then spend the entire time making your house look like it was broken into. When he gets there he'll find you "beaten to a pulp" and realize how much of a dumbass he is.
krystalrosia 8
omg that's terrible but funny
krystalrosia 8
omg that's terrible but funny
rajdeep 8
Change the locks!!
knotcool 15
Why does your cousin have keys to you house?
angel55033 12
change the locks obviously
StevexR 1
Courage Wolf: Accept all challenges. Never lock your door.
hawkdoc60 3
I would have beaten my cousin down over that.
daemonsparta 16
you're cousin is ovoously paying you for every piece of stolen property.... also change the lock in case.. you know. ..murderers