Today, my colleague and I played yet another wonderful game of 'Tapeworm or Toilet Paper?' in the homeless shelter's toilets we were asked to clean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to clean human excrement at work when the fitting room turned into the shitting room. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I happily went to an interview after job searching for months. I learned a large part of my job would be cleaning the toilets. Every. Single. Hour. I used to lecture at a university until budget cuts happened. FML
Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML
Today, I went into the tanning room at work, where the lady in there last had decided the trash can was a toilet and pooped in it. Before she sat, she took the time to wrap the edges in paper towels, I guess in case anyone else had done this before her. I had to clean it up. FML
Today, I share a bathroom with two other people and we divide tasks equally. They take care of making it dirty; I take care of making it clean. FML
Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
I'd feel worse for the poor people who have to use these toilets...
PipingMouse 14
Make sure you don't touch the toilet seats with any of your body parts because then you'll be playing 'Herpes or Cold Sore?'
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (53)
PenguinBitch 44
That's disgusting. I wouldn't be able to handle that. You have a great heart op.
Helpfulman 17
Well, it is your choice to work there.
captainsmegma 12
Oh the joys of community service.
Helvanica 22
Sounds like a shit game.
gracehi 33
Sounds like even more fun than the "Spot the Hooker" I used to play with my ex.
PipingMouse 14
You and your husband sound fun. To find them, did you drive outside of Walmart at night?
gracehi 33
EX husband. And no, ha ha! We would drive through his home neighborhood in the bad part of Philadelphia.
robd007 20
Did he end up sleeping with one of the hookers you two spotted?
Soundslikeothers 15
Sounds like a game with no winners
thejimler 9
The winner is those that don't play.
False_Stupidity 42
Strange game, The only way to win is not to play
wilber245 16
Is that not what he just said?
worldclassrager 41
Who won? But ew...
buckdharma 38
This will get boring quick. I suggest,"log, toilet paper, tapeworm." Tapeworm eats log. Log sinks toilet paper. Toilet paper chokes tapeworm. :)
Displaced 6
I don't see why the people living there wouldn't be required to clean up there mess but maybe that's just me.
theBadGuy37 9
I don't know why you got downvoted, I was thinking the same thing.
wvcheesehead 13
Not a surprise you are down in the dumps.