Transportation: Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is,...

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 4 612

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Same thing different taste

By fuck my eyeballs - 01/12/2013 23:07 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 096

You deserved it 22 270

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 232

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 254

You deserved it 2 252

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 14:13 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 439

You deserved it 31 020

It's a mystery

By Anonymous - 04/08/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 051

You deserved it 61 174

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:50 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 711

You deserved it 1 847

By Beegee - 21/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 7 399

By Wick - 26/05/2009 19:47 - United States

Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 012

You deserved it 115 344

By Hypocrite - 16/04/2017 12:00

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 7 549

By shook - 06/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 11 917

tormcn 26

Monday 29 June 2015 8:29

You should have taken your nipple out. Make him question his sexuality.

Miss_Mandi 29

Monday 29 June 2015 8:28

He wasn't gay? Damnit.

Comments

CrosFyr 9

Tuesday 30 June 2015 20:22

I have a feeling that it probably wasn't because of cleavage, most likely a good driving record and not going extremely fast.

bgreen1111 16

Wednesday 1 July 2015 4:54

Maybe you should start walking places instead of driving Fatty

drealex360 5

Thursday 2 July 2015 8:58

Yup.... Not all cops like your "Caitlyn" look Bruce...

oasis359 13

Tuesday 18 August 2015 4:51

best story iv ever heard.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I've been working on a novel for the past six months, and what would have been mid-way through, I accidentally said the main character's name instead of my boyfriend's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 584

You deserved it 16 950

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 057

You deserved it 2 533

The Top

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 807

You deserved it 117 375

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 248

You deserved it 179 805

Today, I received a prank phone call that woke me up. I actually kept them on the line because they were the first person to call me in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 321

You deserved it 6 148

Today, almost half of my birthday party invitees are refusing to attend, simply because my mother-in-law is going to be there, and their hatred of her Karen-like behaviour is greater than their desire to celebrate my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 216

Today, I attempted to bleach the little hairs above my lip. I had it on for about 15 seconds. Turns out that the horrible stinging that I had felt meant that it was not just working, but also eating through my skin at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 505

You deserved it 3 821

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 815

You deserved it 10 929

Same thing different taste

Officer McGiggles

It's a mystery

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