Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
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Top comments
tormcn 26
You should have taken your nipple out. Make him question his sexuality.
Miss_Mandi 29
He wasn't gay? Damnit.
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Comments (64)
namibian 13
Did you also blow him a kiss?
gerardmuch 3
feel lucky. there are girls with one at all
stark_fear 15
I tried that once, got a ticket for public indecency.
thefmlman2011 37
i was going to say YDI, but i read that your a guys your life sucks. hit up tbe gym one day soon
blahblah005 16
it's ur fault for speeding
MandieL 27
It's funny, you're the first one that pointed that out.
Pashazil 10
Yet another unrealistic standard for men.
MandieL 27
I agree with 26, you were speeding, so getting a ticket is your fault. As well, I'm very curious. Usually to have enough cleavage to look like a females breast, you would need to have a large amount of body fat, so I'm wondering if mr. Police man is into larger women, or is just really into boobs that he didn't notice the big belly along with the big boobs. Not trying to be insensitive here, just curious what the cop was actually thinking/seeing.
lulinator 40
Also, to see cleavage, you need to have a low-cut top. Wondering what OP was wearing...
nomrana 14
It almost worked... Almost!
mikuxxhatsune 32
Thats (unfortunetly) hilarious
Abhinow 7
wish you had shaved legs too ;)