Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, as I was riding my bike, I saw a bunch of cute guys checking me out. Not paying attention, I then ran into a parked police car. Besides getting laughed at, I got a ticket for damaging police property. FML
Today, I got my first speeding ticket. Looking it over, I was surprised to see that the officer listed my height accurately despite never having seen me standing. I complimented his uncanny ability and asked if it was part of police training. He then informed me that he read it on my license. FML
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket while driving to my court date for a prior speeding ticket. FML
Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML
Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
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Top comments
tormcn 26
You should have taken your nipple out. Make him question his sexuality.
Miss_Mandi 29
He wasn't gay? Damnit.
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Comments (64)
A07 48
That's just not cool OP, join a gym and get on a diet.
icecoldfml 7
-_- yes and everyone should change to become the figure that you want them to be
tantanpanda 26
Despite the increased health risks that will kill you early, sure, eat as much as you want and get as big as you want; this is America! No need to worry about heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.
DoomedGemini 38
Are you op's doctor? No? Then you don't know his health.
ChristianH39 30
I love how people say "join a gym and get on a diet" like it's some novel idea OP never heard of and not common sense.
WOTAN1488 24
Get on a treadmill.
AC98 19
Those must be some impressive man-breasts you got there. Wield them with power
jackipdoc 31
So sorry for you OP but at the same time this is such a funny situation and a great FML! Very glad I read this
Karlsmarx2 9
You should've asked him for his badge for sexual harassment he looked at your man tit
carcinoid 17
Could've used a prosthetic as ur excuse
UncleCaitlyn 21
Boobs are boobs
icecoldfml 7
Technically they are moobs :p
RedPillSucks 33
mits?
SauceySarah 30
You almost got away with it. You were so close OP! You should have pushed your boobs out further to distract him from realizing that you're a male.
MonstreBelle 29
It's a shame your attempt to get out of a speeding ticket was a bust. Fortunately it's very easy to avoid speeding tickets when you lack the titillating physique needed to get out of them.
Cads1 24
**** a pity that your cleavage could not save you.