Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
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Top comments
DameGreyWulf 1
"Wake up, lazy alpha. I've brought you an offering."
redbluegreen 41
Well, where else is he gonna get you a gift? The mall?
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Comments (149)
kath91 0
YDI for having a cat, it's what they do.
twirlingqueen4u 0
cats rock what does YDI meannnnn
xaer0babiix0 0
Dogs do it too. I can't even begin to count how many times my dog has brought me a dead bird or rabbit.
vita_questa_roba 0
Did you tell him thank you?
something41 0
best alarm clock ever.
jonny2x4 0
cat: "A present for you, princess."
redbluegreen 41
For some reason, I laughed really really hard at this. :D
whoaelena 0
Oh man...in Puss In Boots voice too!
thelonelylurker 0
He got you a gift, that's sweet.
Gwenhyvar 3
I've "adopted" abandoned cats in the country before and they used to bring "presents" to leave at the front door. It's really a sweet gesture, it shows the cat cares for the OP, at least.
Hambag_ 0
Ahh! This makes my whole body cringe! That's seriously gross! I feel for you
xox_rachy_xox 0
Happy Birthday gorgeous!!!
iFruit 0
The cat's giving you a hint. It wants a gift too... better start catching those rats!
gwenhwyfaer 0
In fact, offerings like these seem to be intended as a tutorial. I can only assume that my cats think me quite capable of catching my own, because back when they used to hunt, they never shared. :-/ On the other hand, my boycat tends to wake me up by licking my face. I don't mind unless he sticks his tongue in my eye, which is sadly not as rare as I'd prefer...
thequickredofox 0
LOL - I read boycat as boyfriend!
iCharlie_fml 0
Awww the kitty cat gave you a nice lil gift....you shud be proud of it!!! lol Atleast your cat caught something for you...my cats just lays around being lazy!!!
Einstein714 0
cats are cool, this is not an fml, my cat head butts me awake all the time
Hambag_ 0
he FML is the fact that they petted a dead-ish rat instead of their cat. Read the ****** thing you douche!