Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML
Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML
Today, I woke up to yet another severed rat head next to my bed, which I have to dispose of yet again. Cats are seriously weird. FML
Today, I made my way to bed around 4am after spending all night hanging out with my family. When I got to my bed, I started to clear a spot to lay down. Almost immediately, my hand touched something furry and cold and, fearing the worst, I turned the light on. Turns out my cat left me a half eaten rodent. FML
Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML
Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML
Today, my cat attempted to make up for my insomnia with a dead mouse. I have no idea where he got it. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
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Top comments
DameGreyWulf 1
"Wake up, lazy alpha. I've brought you an offering."
redbluegreen 41
Well, where else is he gonna get you a gift? The mall?
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Comments (149)
ChelseaAnn08 0
Aw! How sweet! Sucks you accidentially touched it. If it is still twitching...that means that your cat REALLY loves you. S/he brought you a present that serves multiple purposes...you get to play with it, and practice your 'hunting' skills, and you get a snack! Weird...but, hey, how they show love. Lol. So, enjoy!
bornkiller66 0
LOL!! I can just imagine the cat slamming it's head against you to wake you up! BTW, the cat gave it to you as a present, so u should "accept" it....my cat gives me crows head as a present, it's really cute.
MiniatureMayhem 0
FYL? More like F the rat's life. Nobody, not even a filthy little rodent deserved to die like that. Except insects. Nobody cares about insects.
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH 0
your cat, my friend is an epic winner!!!
DresdenB17 0
it is bit yet a "corpse" if it is still twitching. correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's how it works.
Xolani 0
An animal can have convulsions for several minutes after its heart has stopped.
bipolaradhdfml 0
Its a nervous system thing.
SunlightVeins 0
Aww. He likes you!
iJack 0
No, that just means your cat got hungry on the way back. Its the best he can do.
Xolani 0
It's gross, but it's better to have a dead rat than a living one in your home.
alexman6364 0
there are a lot of egyptions here. I know this because everyone is saying kill the cat.
shamille 5
the (ancient) egyptians loved cats. like, cats were sacred....
Matty_No9 0
#75 you must be an idiot huh
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Awww, he brought you breakfast in bed!! :D And people say cats are selfish and only awaken their humans to demand food for themselves! XD *lol*