Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad let me borrow his car for transportation to work because mine got totaled. This car is a complete dump and I've realized he's only letting me use it so it's my fault to fix the broken things on the car. So far, I've had to replace the battery and two popped tires. FML
Today, I bought a used car from a friend of mine. After getting the car home and further inspecting it, I found one of my wife's earrings in the backseat. FML
Today, after months of convincing from my friends, I finally bought a car they claimed would be a chick magnet. Wrong kind of "chick," mates. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, I was working as a service writer in an auto service shop. A really cute girl came in to buy a headlight, I offered to install the bulb for her. My hand got stuck behind the headlight, she had to ask one of our mechanics to come remove the air box from her car to get my hand out. FML
Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML
Today, a friend was making fun of our teacher's car, calling it dorkmobile and saying only idiots would own that car. It's the same as the car I just bought. FML
Today, my wife got me a car for my birthday. It's a nice one but I soon realized it's a trap: I have to take her everywhere, or she tells me she can take it back anytime. So much for a gift. FML
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Top comments
evilmatty93 0
That guy had THE BEST CALL EVER! .... you got owned, big time.
hamzy 0
Lol, gotta appreciate the humor. :D
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Comments (281)
antar_fml 0
Perhaps , the reason you felt owned was cause deep down you believed it yourself even before he said it ... In such a situation i'd have responded with "A car doesn't define a man , the man defines the car .... and btw thank you , but i'd rather not have a ******** than borrow your filthy little one"
ChaosRuler5151 0
Honor Among Men Brother
leighandnaomi 0
...because he has two!
jewelzgalore 0
Wow, I got all teary-eyed. That, Sir, is most indubitably a true altruist.
Pixon 0
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
qwerty123456789 0
Should've said "Well, I already have a 15 inch penis so I'm driving a girly car to keep men like you form feeling unmanly".
ddo7887 0
made my nite
supasqueak 0
Lol funny guy.
chick16 0
lol, that guy owned you. and he seems pretty awesome. as for you... dude. chill. you have no idea how completely attractive a guy, who is comfortable in his sexuality, is to girls. (the average girl, not the religous fanatic type where the guys have to bring home the dough and only do manly things)... but yea, to most girls, a guy doing girly things is a HUGE turn-on. if a guy has good looks, and is comfortable, and acts like it, he could get any girl he wants.
Some_Person693 0
Does it matter if you drove a girly car that had stuffed animals ? I'm a guy and I love stuff animals and almost all my friends know. I would probably drive it anyways if I had to. I wouldn't really mind, because the only thing on my mind at that moment is that i could at least drive a car. Still so what? that just means that man is very shallow and probably has a very bad personality. Cheer up!