Miscellaneous: Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression,...

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 19:05 - United States - Brandon

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

agreeclassic 34 747

vote type 1 4 664

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By Brastro - 07/04/2009 11:46 - Ireland

Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML

agreeclassic 16 995

vote type 1 179 211

By tired individual - 12/01/2014 11:04 - United States - Dickson

Today, trying to get some much needed rest, I heard my neighbors fighting loudly. When they finally quit, they left a DVD on, directly behind my wall: Spongebob, with the menu tune on loop. FML

agreeclassic 47 231

vote type 1 3 870

By Alpha - 17/12/2011 21:18 - Estonia

Today, while I was meditating in my room, I started to hear strange sounds. I was thrilled and thought I was having some sort of profound experience. It turned out my brother had tuned in to South Park out in the living room. FML

agreeclassic 10 546

vote type 1 31 804

By Kenton - 15/06/2019 00:14

Today, my older brother called me in the middle of the night to describe to me, in painstaking elaborate detail, the Yamaha commercial he'd just watched. FML

agreeclassic 1 605

vote type 1 175

By whyarewerelated - 08/09/2011 15:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

agreeclassic 26 111

vote type 1 2 865

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 21:56 - United States

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

agreeclassic 28 361

vote type 1 3 826

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 09:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

agreeclassic 3 223

vote type 1 340

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

agreeclassic 32 341

vote type 1 5 609

By riiiighhhttttt - 05/08/2013 05:38 - United States - Laurel

Today, I actually had to explain to my sister that Shrek was not in fact based on a true story. She replied that I'm a "clueless twat". FML

agreeclassic 43 716

vote type 1 4 358

By JackieD - 25/08/2014 18:05 - United States - Bellevue

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

agreeclassic 42 110

vote type 1 16 242

jainam 7

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:09

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

feven 32

Sunday 8 March 2015 13:04

Maybe Shrek is trying to tell you something

Comments

Ilikepie82479 20

Monday 9 March 2015 5:25

Austin Powers?

zykrithium 22

Monday 9 March 2015 5:55

That is the most amazing thing ever I love it. I hope your brother started quoting the movie.

nialls_girl 13

Monday 9 March 2015 7:37

DONKEY.

wierdDreams 10

Monday 9 March 2015 12:13

We will never guess... so I think Shrek is out!mmmmmmmmmmm

Earth_walker 19

Monday 9 March 2015 12:47

It's never ogre!

nlenaghen 5

Monday 9 March 2015 16:46

it's not ogre, it's never ogre...

wtfLoki 24

Monday 9 March 2015 17:51

oh the irony!

Matttis 7

Monday 9 March 2015 18:20

IT'S NOT OGRE YET!

kalbrek009 20

Monday 9 March 2015 18:55

That's when you say "this is how it's done & it's supposed to sound".

Lazie_Rabbit 9

Monday 9 March 2015 23:13

Well... What movie was on?

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Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

agreeclassic 23 804

vote type 1 45 766

Today, I turned 25. I'm single, still living at home and doing an unpaid internship in an industry I have no interest in, because it was the only accepted application after 6 months of unemployment. The daily 45-minute drive means I'm losing money every week for being "employed" with a PhD. FML

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vote type 1 3 049

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

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vote type 1 139

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

agreeclassic 20 839

vote type 1 10 507

Today, when confronting my boyfriend about slapping a girl's ass in the club, he claimed: "There was a mosquito on it." FML

agreeclassic 13 862

vote type 1 1 396

Today, I ran into a guy I haven't seen since high school. He started ranting about what an asshole I was for not inviting him to my birthday party when I was 12. We're 50 now, the party was cancelled because my granddad died, and we were not friends anyway, I just hung out with him as I felt sorry for him sometimes. FML

agreeclassic 596

vote type 1 117

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Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

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