Today, my brother saw my side when my shirt came up, and asked when I got a tattoo; the pink he saw was in fact my stretch marks. Worst of all, I had to show them to everyone to prove I didn't actually get a tattoo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML
Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML
Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML
Today, I was showing my unique new tattoo to my friends when a man approaches me with his digital camera and asks if he could take a picture of the tattoo for his website. I agreed. I find out later that it's a site about ugly tattoos. FML
Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML
Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML
Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed dark lines that look like scars on my inner thighs. He confronted me about them, thinking I was cutting myself, and now wants me to see a therapist because he thinks I'm suicidal. They're stretch marks. He won't believe me. FML
Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML
Today, my quite squeamish girlfriend came with me to get my latest tattoo. She saw a few drops of blood, screamed in the tattooist's ear, and completely fucked up part of the outline. She had to alter the tattoo drastically to cover up the mess and now it just looks bad. FML
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Top comments
emeraldisle 30
Guys can get stretch marks too you know.
PoodleJuice 7
Did they make you look like a tiger?
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Comments (50)
simonsaysYDI 8
I hate stretch marks. Once upon a time, My weight fluctuated all through my childhood and I have stretch marks on my thighs now. I personally don't think they are ugly or gross, but they have such a reputation for having to be extremely overweight to get them that it's just embarrassing D: and that is why I wear board shorts when I swim! The end.
vintage3113 6
Get a tattoo over it?
Wii624 5
I have stretch marks on my back, they look like whip marks! Put cocoa butter on them once every night. Been doing it for a year and they have faded drastically!
InfiniIII 6
Having stretchmarks that look like tattoos is cool though...
Eiregal2 10
Try bio oil, it's amazing!
kittybaby01 10
So uhmm ....why did your shirt go up infront of your brother? O_o
greeneye_fml 12
I would have just said it was a tattoo.
Niamhhhh 10
At least your stretch marks look like a tattoo.. Use some coca butter maybe? It always gets rid of mine
KiddNYC1O 22
You're not fabulous anymore...
usmcheins 1
Well if you had them usually that means you lost weight so good job